A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my husband and i have been struggling in our relationship for 5 years ago we have been in a relationship for 10 and married for going on 2 well 5 years ago i got really drunk and really don;t remember the night and i cheated well for 5 years we have been working on the trust issue my problem is he married me 2 years ago and at least twice a week he still throughs it up in my face that he will never forgive me we have 2 kids together and i want to work it out but i want him to forgive me trust me and move forward instead of living in the past,i have give up all my friends for him trying to build thst trust level back up but i am fed up what do i do?and really depressed alot
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female
reader, raiders +, writes (31 March 2010):
 People make mistakes and regret what they did, you cheated, your husband new this before he married you, yeah, but your husband did not anticipate how he would feel in the future because it's the future and no one know right,. Trust is very important and once broken it's hard to reconstruct; my advise is Marriage Counseling Good Luck!
A
female
reader, Myrrh  +, writes (31 March 2010):
 You should have a really serious talk to him and ask if theres ever going to be a time when he can forgive you and move on. Sometimes its impossible to do that. If that is the case for your husband, you need to either work at it with counselling or part company. Sometimes when something is so badly damaged theres no repairing it, it is better to part company and start over.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (31 March 2010):
There is only really one other thing you can do. And that's couples counselling. Yes, you cheated. But that was five years ago, and he married you which means he shouldn't be throwing this in your face anymore. If he couldn't forgive, he shouldn't have married. You need to try counselling. If he won't let it go, you will need to leave. There is no use in you sitting there and being unhappy with him throwing it in your face. He chose to marry you, so he should have forgiven you. He hasn't. So it's counselling or bust on this occasion.
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A
female
reader, Hard_decision  +, writes (31 March 2010):
You guys need to go to couples councelling to help rebuild the trust. You broke the trust he had for you, you did the worst thing possible. But in saying that, if you have really changed and you BOTH want the marriage to work, you need to work together to forgive and move on. You dont want to spend the rest of your life being reminded of your mistake (if you are truly remorseful and have changed) and it sounds as tho he will never forgive you, so i suggest couples councelling, it wont happen in a few sessions.. but over time he will learn to trust you again, if he cant (which i dont blame him) then you should look at going seperate ways. Sometimes no matter how much you love someone and how much you feel they wont hurt you again, once one cheats its pretty much impossible to ever have a trusting, deep, loving relationship again with that same person and no matter how much you want to spend ur life with them, the fact that they cheated is always going to be in your mind somewhere..
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