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Would you ever ask an ex to be your plus 1 at a wedding?

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 November 2013) 5 Answers - (Newest, 24 November 2013)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Would you ever asks an ex to be your plus 1 at a wedding? I ask because my ex asked me to go to a wedding with him. He was the dumpee. It was 5 months ago we broke up, but he didn't take it so great. We've spoken on and off since, but nothing much. If this was you, would you even consider asking your ex? It seems crazy to me.

View related questions: broke up, my ex, wedding

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2013):

I wouldn't under the circumstances that you described. He may have something up his sleeve; if things ended badly for him. You must be certain he has accepted the fact that it is over with no chance of reconciliation. If it were years up the road, and a platonic relationship was well-established, maybe.

Maybe he's hoping the atmosphere will somehow influence your feelings and loosen your resolve. He's trying to pry your feelings; and see if he can still make his way in.

Weddings have a profound emotional effect on women.

It's not so much that you will give-in, it's what will you have to put up with when the alcohol starts to flow, and the celebration starts. Even if you don't have a drop, it doesn't mean he won't.

Dumpees often take longer to move on. They try every scheme under the sun to try and get back those good feelings they used to have. Like a dope fiend/drug-addict, he's trying to get a fix of the love-drug, dopamine. Give him more time and keep your distance. You're in a safe place, I doubt that he's there yet.

If it were me, I'd pass.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (24 November 2013):

Honeypie agony auntPersonally, no I wouldn't. I wouldn't go either.

If I was single and got an invitation with a +1 on it, I would call the groom or bride (which ever is my friend/relative) and let them know that I will NOT be bringing anyone, because that might free up a spot for someone else THEY want to invite. I think it's bad form not to. It's their wedding whether I go alone or not matters less.

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A female reader, shna Ireland +, writes (24 November 2013):

shna agony auntIt could be a number of things he might not yet have told his relatives your relationship is over and doesnt want to answer all those questions like "why? What happened? Are you ok?"

Or

He could still have feeling for you and is attempting to get you back into his life! Sure he could have moved on and a couple of one night stands a date or two but he probably misses having you in his life !

I think just tell him no and that you just want space from him to move on with your life that you had a great time being with him but unfortunatly theres no connection there for you anymore ! X

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (24 November 2013):

YouWish agony auntIf he was the dumpee and took it badly, then asking you to go to a wedding is a brilliant move, because the whole "love" vibe has softened up many women, that's for sure. Love is in the air, and it would be so easy to get caught up in the moment and go back with him.

If you dumped him, and you're 100% sure you made the right decision, then don't go with him, and consider going "no contact". You do realize that ongoing communication with exes is significant baggage, right?

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (24 November 2013):

AuntyEm agony auntIf you are done with him and absolutely know you would never want to get back with him, then I wouldn't go as his plus one.

He may still have feelings for you and see it as an opportunity to get with you again...If you go, you may have to end up turning him down again and it's never nice to have to reject someone twice.

I cannot think of any other reason for him to ask, unless he just wants proof that he's over you...but it's a dangerous game.

Personally I wouldn't go unless all feelings for eachother were dead and buried.

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