A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello all,I am just wanting an opinion on a situation that has arisen on Facebook.I have a "friend" who I met through a mutual interest site. We spoke for a long time, and eventually added each other. I figured this would be fine, since he is nearly on the other side of the globe.But shortly after, he started messaging me constantly. I didn't mind at first, because we spoke frequently on the site. Though it began to grow quite excessive.I don't know if this is suspicious or not, god forbid he might want to talk to someone?But here is some more information: He will comment on posts I make in events/groups that he is not a part of, or are completely irrelevant to him seconds after I post them. He also likes and comments on everything I post, even though some of is so irrelevant to him that he wouldn't even know what it means. Should this worry me, or is this what Facebook is for an I am overreacting? Sometimes I will get 12+ notifications all from him.He also once asked me about a friend of a friend (Who was not a friend of mine) who he thought was attractive, though she would be over twenty years his junior.He has also made comments about my attractiveness, though he is well aware that I am not single.Part of me thinks that he is just a really nice (and very lonely) man who wants to talk, but sometimes my gut feeling says there could be a darker side.What do you think?Thanks for any input.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone,
Just wanted to know what some others would think if they were in my shoes. I'll probably start hiding my posts from him so he has restricted access.
A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (9 September 2012):
Well it's only really stalker attitude if you've talked to them about it and they refuse to respect your space. So try to talk to him about it. He might be just obsessed a little bit but I'm not sure if the pity route is the best way to judge him.
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (9 September 2012):
 Facebook is not for that. Facebook is for keeping in touch with friends and family, and shairng your life with them. People just don't really use it in the correct way these days. It does sound like he is abit of a stalker, and it sounds unfortunely like he doesn't really have anything better to do than to stay sat on facebook all day. However, i am afraid the internet and all its glory, is full of people like that. The thing about him speaking about one of your friends, is also ever so slightly weird, it means he has looked through your friends maybe to see if theres another person he can stalk? How do you know he hasn't started to speak to any of your friends already? He might seem harmless and sweet when you speak to him, but he is ovbiously very obessive and it must be annoying to get that amount of notifcations and posts from one person in a day. If your worried, then don't be afraid and just block him. It isn't like hes going to be able to contact you again once you do that and it isn't like he is going to be able (aslong as you haven't disclosed and personal details) fly to the other side of the earth and pop in for a chat. Next time, i would only really add people who you know and who live near you, as trust me you are not the only one who has had this problem with random obessive strangers on facebook. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (9 September 2012):
 I agree with Daisy. I would change my private setting and if he still seems "creepy" I would defriend & block.
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A
female
reader, outoftime19 +, writes (9 September 2012):
Defriend him. I can never understand why people see these online relationships as so serious. Never in my life have I got 12 notifications from one person in one day. He is not your problem and if he is making you uncomfortable, you are completely entitled to get rid of him
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (9 September 2012):
 You could change your privacy settings so that he can limited access to your account. That's what I would do.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 September 2012):
I think with the internet you can't afford to be too careful anyway. There are a lot of people out there who have 'dark' sides, and they do come out over the internet because it's an easy way to get attention or whatever.
I don't know whether he's got a darker side, but his attention seems to be worrying you, and I think on the strength of that, you can perhaps make a decision to block him. He may well be a nice guy who's lonely. Or, he might be an older guy (you mention that he's 20+ years older) just trying it on with younger women or something.
If you are worried, or unnerved, block him.
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