A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I already posted a question, but it's getting worse.. This clingy, attatched boyfriend is getting rediculous... My phone was messed up and basically unusable. And so I got an old one a friend had given me. It was tmobile, I have att, my boyfriend had to unlock it, yeah yeah yeah.... Tonight we got in a fight, same as every night, and I guess I'm supposed to learn something? quote him:"See, you aren't learning at all... Until you can tell me what you did.. I will take away the phone. And there was something you did earlier that you keep guilting me into, even though you said I didn't have to do it...."I don't know what to do. He always starts fights but I take the blame just so things don't get really bad and he doesn't cry and stuff...... Do I have an abusive boyfriend??? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (11 May 2009):
Why is your mum cutting back the time you see him?
Why aren't you dumping him for being an arse?
Good Luck!! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo SyferFire, No, he is most definately not paying for the phone. He did not pay for it in any way shape or form. By unlocking it, he entered a code that tmobile had to give him that they couldnt give me because I'm cingular. He didn't pay for any part of the phone.
And the thing that I had apparently guilted him into was building me a computer. Which. I told him not to. I told him I did not want one, and that I like the one that my mom and I shared. I say one comment and somehow he manipulates it in his head and twists it and picks bits and pieces from other conversations with his amazing memory and brings together things to make me look like an ass. My mom's going to start cutting back my time seeing him. She's getting infuriated by him..... =/
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (7 May 2009):
Yes, your boyfriend should commucate with you like an adult.
He should not tell you that you have been naughty and need to sit on the naughty step and take away your phone.
He is not your dad and you are not 5.
Tell him you want your phone back or your parents will call his and the police will become involved and then dump him.
He is acting controlling and the smartest thing you can do is to get out now while you still can.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2009): This is an incomplete picture. If you want to put yourself in the most positive light, that's fine. But its not the most productive to get to the root of the problem.I think u are not being specific enough about what you two are fighting about, and what the something was he did earlier that he says you were guilting him into. You give me the impression that you don't listen to your man, if you don't even know what his beef is with you. Even if you disagree with it, you should know what it is he wants you to "learn". He's probably told you multiple times.I assume he IS paying for your phone? Not sure if that's what unlocking means. If he is paying for your phone, he has every right to attach stipulations to it, or just turn off your service. Granted if he gifts you something, he shouldn't take it back or hold it over you. I'll give you that. A gift is a gift.If I were to hazard a guess from this imperfect information, I'd say you both are being mutually abusive to each other, just in different ways. Except for the most extreme of cases, it takes two to tango, sweetie.
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A
female
reader, Heartbroken-xx  +, writes (7 May 2009):
My ex boyfriend was not abusive physically, but emotionally, yeah he was. He tried to control my life, who I hung out with, what I did, my hair.. etc. It went on and on for months, and he still had the nerve to say he loved me! I just laugh now, I think he is so pathetic!Honey, if you want to be happy, you need to get out of this relationship now. "He always starts fights but I take the blame just so things don't get really bad and he doesn't cry and stuff...... " Sounds like you answered the question yourself, you know what you need to do already, you just want someone to give you the okay.Listen, just tell him how you feel. If you want out of the relationship - get out, if you think you should stay and work at it, it will take alot of help. I think you would be better off with someone else..best of luckxxx
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A
female
reader, niki20 +, writes (7 May 2009):
 yes, it is emotionally abusive because he is tearing you apart. you should get out of this relationship and take a breath if fresh air. find someone who treats you like a queen and doesnt fight with you every night.
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