A
male
age
26-29,
*rns96
writes:This question is purely based on IF I break up with "Dana". We are very happy and I have no intentions of ending our relationship. In the event that we do, there is this girl, "Marie". She's very obviously into me, and I wouldn't mind dating her (if i werent so happy with Dana). But while she sings like Carrie Underwood and looks like s supermodel, she is TALL. We are freshmans and I'm 5"6'. She is 6"1'. I'm not the tallest guy in school, but i've never dated a girl anymore thana couple of inches taller than me. 7 inches is not a couple of inches! While I don't discriminate based on height (Dana is 5"2' after all), I'm worried about the torment Marie will face. I'm very popular. I'm one of those guys that can come to school in a pink sweater and 3D glasses with the lenses popped out (which I have done) and everybody laughs WITH me, not AT me. Marie isn't very popular and will suffer all of the criticism of our height difference, depite the fact that she would be my girlfriend. Not dating her is a gift to her from me. But on the surface, it seems like a pretty jerk move to reject her if she comes on to me (IF and WHEN Dana and I break up). There's no rush on this one as long as Dana and I are happy together. Still, I would like the advice for future reference. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Chaela13 +, writes (13 December 2010):
 well that is very nice. and im shure that if Marie got togeather with u and started hangin with the "in crowed" then she would be saw a diffrent way and become part of the "in crowed" as well.
A
male
reader, jrns96 +, writes (13 December 2010):
jrns96 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you chaela. that helps. im just trying to be a little considerate for Marie's feelings. since its a stereotype that guys like me dont care, i go out of my way to prove them wrong by looking out for other people whenever i can
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A
female
reader, Chaela13 +, writes (13 December 2010):
well, im looking at this in Maries situation because im very tall.... yes.... she would get made fun of, but if she likes u and u like her then it shouldent be a prob, if u and dana break up, go for marie, after all, yall can break uo if needed.
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A
male
reader, jrns96 +, writes (12 December 2010):
jrns96 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe refuses to even let me consider breaking up with Dana, he's too...nice, would u call it?...but he seems upset if i DO date her so, I'm feeling a bit stuck. ah, this is off topic a but. i'll just post another question asking more directly about this. suppose u can answer that one? it'd be a great help. and thank u for ur insight, chigirl. and cheyyennenicole, thnx for answering in a way that made me feel as if i was stressing for nothing. i appreciate it, rlly i do
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (12 December 2010):
 If it's happened to her before I think she's probably well aware of her height and yours.
As for your friend and the Dana situation... your friend really has no right to demand you break up with her, and if he's willing to let the friendship go because of something so silly then perhaps he's not such a great friend to have around after all. It'd be really unfair to Dana to dump her just because your friend, whom Dana probably doesn't even fancy, likes her.
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A
male
reader, jrns96 +, writes (12 December 2010):
jrns96 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni understand what you're saying, and yes it is the height difference. this has nothing to do with my "self glorification" or popularity. believe it or not im not that shallow. im just worried how i should react. a couple days ago,i posted a question that ties into this. my best friend is resenting me for having dated Dana. as it turns out, he was crushing on her and hadnt told anyone, not even me. now that i noe this, im not sur f we can stay togetger AND i get to keep my best friend.so yes we are still happy, but neglected to inform u of that detail. for that i apologize. and i do not stare at her like she is a circus freak. as i mentioned in the question, i appreciatte her beauty and her height does nothing to diminish it. ur tellng me she wont get picked on, but it has in fact happened b4 while she was dating another guy earlier in the year. admittedly, he was even shorter than i am, but the fear remains. i apologize if i came across as a conceited and ignrant person, but i assure u, i am not.
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A
female
reader, CheyenneNicole13 +, writes (12 December 2010):
 I get your problem. I'm 5'2 and my boyfriend's 6'1. But i mean if you like "Marie" then youh shouldn't let the height difference keep youh guys apart. It's nice that youh thought about what it would be like for her. But if youh like her don't let anything keep youh apart. And if it becomes a real big problem, then youh know its not meant to be.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (12 December 2010):
"Not dating her is a gift to her from me."
You're not doing her any favours kiddo. I will admit thought that while your question is somewhat valid, it pretty much drowns in your own glorification of yourself. You're so popular, well great for you, but what's your real question then?
Your real question doesn't sound like you are actually worried about height being a problem in a relationship at all (although you try to make it seem THAT would be the problem), the imaginary problem you face here is that you love yourself too much to risk dropping down the scale in popularity, by dating someone who's not up at your standards, or so you judge her not to be.
High school drama. Just be happy your relationship with Dana is going so well, and quit looking at Marie like she's some circus freak. If you are happy with Dana why do you even wonder about what a relationship with Marie would be like in the first place. And in second: if you did happen to be a single, and a good guy, you'd be perfectly able to date her and you wouldn't worry if she'd get picked on. I mean why on earth would she get picked on in the first place? Because she's tall? She's already tall. Or is it because she'd be dating you and doesn't match you properly?
Who exactly are saying that she'd get picked on over that, did anyone actually say that or is that a thought of your own?
I'll break it to you: no, she wouldn't get picked on over that.
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A
female
reader, Duckyhelp  +, writes (12 December 2010):
 Thats horrible, reading this makes me actually annoyed.
Your happy. leave it. Im not going to give you advice on how to make your dream come true with another girl if you have no intentions of leaving, isnt that weird?
There is no IF in this.
You either are or not. You cant have resolves as this isnt fair.
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