A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My best friend and I were in his room messing around and we ended up "doing it", this was both of our first times and I didn't really want to but we did. Really stupid of me!!He didn't think that I'd get pregnant cuz I was on birth control but I still did and now I'm 11 weeks along. We're both really scared because I'm only 13 and my friend's 16. Should I give the baby up for adoption?? Sometimes I wish I'd have a miscarriage but usually I want to keep my baby. If I gave him/her up for adoption would my parents have to sign anything?? Also, would it be possible for us to keep our baby?? My friend wants to but I'm not so sure.
View related questions:
best friend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2010): We went to the adoption agency today and learnt about the different types. We're doing an open adoption for Vicky.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2010): Hi!!
Thanks to every one who replied!! My mom died when I was 3 so I didn't really have anyone to tell me about sex and babies. My dad is really rich so he's usually traveling and I'm at a private school so I don't see him that much. It gets kinda lonely which is 1 reason why I was with my friend. I had a CVS this morning and found out that my baby's a girl!!! Her name is going to be Victoria Claire!! My friend and I are excited to see her but we're also sad cuz we're giving her up for adoption.
Thanks again to everyone who replied!!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, coughcough  +, writes (20 November 2010):
 Well first of all, don't be hard on yourself. I had a baby at a young age as well (18). I was still in highschool when it happened. I'm going to give you my insight as a young mother. Being a mom, especially at such a young age, is the most challenging thing you'll ever experience. Babies can wake up at random times in the night. You'll have to constantly attend to the needs of a child who cannot help itself. There will be times when it seems impossible to go to school and take care of a baby. There will be times when you're so tired all you want to do is sleep but you can't because your baby isn't sleepy and you don't have anyone to help you. There will be times when you wish you were a Normal teenager who could go out with friends and have lazy days where you do nothing but watch television all day. Money is also a problem because babies are exspensive! However, I would not change my life for all the money in the world. Even though its challenging taking care of an infant it still has its rewards. For example, all the firsts. The first time your baby smiles at you, or holds itself up on its on, or eats solid food, or stands, walks, talks, the list goes on. There's also the reward of always having someone there with you to love you and admire you. So the decision on whether to keep the baby is definitely something to discuss with your folks. They can tell you all your options. As for adoption, that too can be a scary thing. But, if you feel deep dwn you're not ready to give up your life for someone else then it is the best option. There are sooo many nice people who would love to adopt. Its better to give the baby away to someone who can take care of him/ her than to have a child and not be the best mom you can be. I'm not saying you wouldn't be. I'm simply stating that it is a full time and difficult job that will be hard on you because of your age and situation. So take some time to reflect on what you want and ask family for advice. Can you see yourself graduating if you have a baby? Can you see yourself giving up freedom that others your age have for your baby? Are you finiancially and emotionally capable of taking care of a child. Is there some friend or relative who would want to adopt your baby? Good luck and best wishes!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, muffy +, writes (19 November 2010):
 Well hun,you are both still very young.It could,not saying it would,but could ruin both of your lives.You still need to finish school and get a job and a drivers license and all those good things.On top of that,you guys aren't even in love.You have 3 choices.Adoption,keeping it or abortion.Adoption is hard.You'll bond with the baby and never want to give it to someone else.Although,you could do open adoption and still hopefully see the baby sometimes and it'll give your baby a better home.When it gets older,it won't hate you but it'll be happy because you did the right thing.Keeping it could ruin your life.You probably won't be able to finish normal high school.You won't have time for a job.You won't have time to get your drivers license.You can't party with your friends.Although,I know some people who have a baby at a young age and they're doing just fine.You never know.Abortion I think is the hardest thing to do.Killing your baby or having a miscarriage will scarr you for a very long time.It'll be one of the hardest things to overcome.Although,it is possible to overcome after awhile.Time heals all.Put a lot of thought into what you wanna do.Think of all the good and bad things.In my opinion,I think adoption would be the best for all 3 of you.It's really up to you and you should talk to your parents about it.See what they think.Whatever you decide hun,I hope everything works out.If you need anything let me know.Love and kisses,Muffy33
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2010): it is possible, but hard! talk to your parents about it! whatever you do, don't get an abortion or do anything to cause a miscarrige
...............................
A
female
reader, LilPixie  +, writes (19 November 2010):
 First I'd say talk to your parents about and see what they think about this. There are teenagers out there who've had kids at your age and have kept the baby but it's their parents who do most of the work.
I'd also say give the baby up for adoption, you could go for an open adoption which means that you might still be able to see the child. This depends on the couple who adopts the baby.
If you decide to go with adoption, it'll be hard to give this child up because you will grow a bond with it while it's inside you but you'll have to keep telling yourself that you are doing the right thing. You can carry on with your education without having to look after a screaming baby at night or having to worry about money and the child will grow up in a family that can give it the support it needs.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2010): sometimes it happens, you have a baby really younge, and it seems hard but the life style you have to live to take care of that baby requires adjusting. if you cant keep and open mind, and learn what you have to to take care of that baby, not only will it be a disaster, youll regret it when you do mature enough, because the choice to completely remove the child from your life can be permanent . adoption is better then abortion (to me) but both are making a big descion. you dont have to throw your life away for you to keep your baby, but it is a big change, one that youll need help on. if you want your baby to have a good life, your baby needs to look up to you. you cant teach your baby to do that if you cant do it to your own parents. you need your parents to help you with this. if you cant have the help you need, then i worry for you. actually i kinda wonder how good of parents you have because your pregnant at your age. if they arent that good of parents, then it might be alittle extra work for you to do it on your own. it seems rough, but keep your head up, your child needs you to make good choices because your choices effect its whole life. look into it more before you deside. the best advice i can give being a mother myself is; they dont need a friend (they'll have plenty of those) they need a parent (that effects how they grow up and the paths they take, which you'll only want the best)
...............................
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (19 November 2010):
 It is in your best interests to give the baby up for adoption at this point. You are only 13, he is only 16, you are both still crawling through the mood fluctuations and hormonal confusion your body throws at you almost every day or month. You are in no way ready to take care of this baby.
I am not sure of the laws where you but I would suggest you tell your parents immediately if they do not already know. I doubt either of you are stable enough in life to take care of this child, essentially, it is your parents who will have to raise it whilst you are tending to your own education. So I strongly recommend putting it up for adoption. I know it will be hard but you just are not ready and if you do not give it up, things will only grow more difficult to deal with. I do not think that is what anyone wants.
I hope that helps.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2010): This is really a discussion that needs to be had with thy parents,
...............................
|
