A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Do some boys feel intimidated if a girl gets very high marks at school? It seems to me that the girls who get so much more attention from boys do not get as good grades? Or am I wrong here? Should I try to slacken off a bit at school? One of the really nice girls told I would have more fun with the boys if I did not beat them in the tests. Is that true? Would boys like me more if I did not do better than them in tests? Now I often hold back from answering a question when no one else has put their hand up even if I know the answer. What do girls do that I don't do to get the boys so interested? The only time the boys come near me is to get help with assignments and I am thinking I will stop that. But if I do that then will that solve the problem or only make it worse. I have long blonde hair and I am a bit taller so does that make me a no-go-zone as well? Will this problem ever go away? I get sick of being the outsider. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for your great answers. I have really taken notice of all your answers. I had a really good talk to my Auntie and she has made me realise that things will happen when they are meant to happen. And my studies come first.
PS my latest grades were good
A
female
reader, MonksDaBomb  +, writes (22 May 2011):
 Think of it this way: if you dumb down your studies, you'll be "attracted" by the low-life boys who skip school, probably do drugs and I guarantee you they will hurt you if you get too close to them.
On the other hand: if you remain how you are in your studies, you'll not only get a great job in the future because of how smart you are and how well you did in school, but you will also be attracted by a nice, smart, do well in school who won't hurt you.
Now which do you want?
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female
reader, Gherkinsaregrim  +, writes (21 May 2011):
Depends what type of guy.A girl with low grades is more likely to get a cocky short term guy whereas a clever girl will get a better guy
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female
reader, AmyMckinley +, writes (21 May 2011):
Oh come on, you're smart and be proud of it. I was in a same situation too and believe me, sooner or later you'll be holding hand with your bf than moaning about your life. You know why those girls get boys so easily? Because they're cheap as apples on the ground. We're on the top of the tree, waiting for the best boys to come. Just like Sleeping Beauty if you know what I meant. There's a guy who is kind of popular in my school but he's not that great in studying. So he asked me to be his tutor. I agreed and we developed feelings for each other.He said I'm different from other girls that I have self-respect. We never kissed or did nasty stuff in public because I don't want to show people those kind of stuff and he liked it. He thought it was cool that we had shared our feeling in private. So now, whenever we see each other, we still friends and happy that we were a couple. So don't just randomly pick some jerks instead of waiting for your Mr.Right. Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2011): No.Not at all.I'm a very smart girl and I always thought that guys were intimidated by me - and I was right. They ARE. But it took me a long time to realize their insecurities with me had very little to do with my intelligence.I found out at my high school graduation that some of the prettiest, top of the food chain, and most sought after girls in my school were on honor roll and headed to good universities. So unless you're using your smarts to berate people and make them feel stupid, being smart is just an added bonus.What I found out about myself, which took another few years after high school, is that I don't make myself very approachable. I smile a lot with friends, but when I'm alone or in a group of people I'm not close to I sit and sort of scowl. I had NO CLUE that I did this.If you want to not be an outsider, you need to introduce yourself to people and engage them. It can be really hard, but you'll be surprised how it can change things.And let's face it: all the guys worth having are the ones who are proud their girl is smart and going places.
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reader, wolfred bane  +, writes (21 May 2011):
 i gotta go with the rest. boys who dun like ur grades aren't worth it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2011): My boyfriend told me that being smart is sexy. And as some people say the brain is the sexiest body part. You dont want some guy who doesn't care about school and where he goes in life. You're on the right track and you want to find a guy who's on that track with you.
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reader, Odds +, writes (21 May 2011):
 I've never met a guy who was intimidated by smart women. I'm sure they exist, but they aren't common. Besides, it's not as if they keep track of your test scores.Also, keep the long hair. Longer the better.Look at the girls getting more attention from guys. Are your grades really the only difference between you? Do they spend more time on their appearance, or more time going out and socializing rather than studying? Are they just better in social situations in general? I'm sure there's more difference, and whoever this chick is telling you to drop your grades to meet guys, she's trying to undermine her competition.That doesn't mean putting guys down or making them feel bad when you get a better score. I'm sure you get that, but it's worth remembering. And you can help guys with assignments if you like, but if you want to turn that into a way to meet guys to date, you'll have to be little flirty when you do it. The homework may take twice as long, but it's worth it as long as it doesn't keep you from learning.
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reader, bluegriffin +, writes (21 May 2011):
omg! never let your grades slip on purpose! boys seem so important right now but give yourself a few years. boys in college will be all over you. if you don't go to college boys in mcdonalds will b all over you. do you catch my drift? girl marry yourself a dr. and hav a big house and a few babies. if you let your grades slip for boys you will regret it the rest of your life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2011): Well done for getting good grades. If boys are put off by this then wait for the ones who aren't, who are as intelligent as you. As for the girls saying this, could they be jealous of you?In the end, it's not so much looks that count but who matches who. It's early days yet so try not to worry, concentrate on your studies and go out to meet someone instead of just relying on school.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2011): NO! thats the wrong thing to do trust meguys don't care if girls are smart if a guy thinks your pretty then he will ask you out , hang out with you or flirt with you its has nothing to do with the grades. if you feel like this you need to ask yourself whats more important boys who you may not even be with forever or your future which will be with you foreveralso boys will get more interested in you after school even if you have good grades because grades at school mean nothing to a guy as long as long as you like them thats all they wanthope i helped
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reader, Hugh.J  +, writes (21 May 2011):
 Do NOT underplay your intelligence or ability, but be true to yourself. If others have a problem with that, it's not your fault. Your future will depend upon your academic success, not your under-achievement.
Your interests will be best served by concentrating on your studies and not the boys - they can come later.
I can understand your feeling of isolation, but I'm betting that it is largely due to jealousy? I think as a matter of policy it's ok to hold back from answering SOME questions in class so as not to be seen as a show-off, but not all of the time: once again, be true to yourself.
Refusing to help boys with their work will probably be counter-productive. At least you have some contact and you can use that opportunity to get closer to them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2011): No, do not let your grades slip. Your grades are the most important thing because when everyone else has failed and got crappy jobs you'll have a great job that you love. Trust me, don't let your grades slip and do get too caught up on what boys think of you. There will be boys that are interested in you and like your appearance and grades, you don't have to be anything else for them. If they're interested in you then they'll make it clear.
Don't let your grades slip, someone will come along and you'll like them as much as they like you.
Good luck
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male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (21 May 2011):
No, I think you have it all wrong. It is a good thing to do well in school and any decent guy will think exactly the same thing.You'd have to be crazy to damage your education and risk your life prospects just because you think guys will like you more. Work hard, be yourself, and soon enough you'll start meeting guys who are interested in you.
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reader, Azza +, writes (21 May 2011):
Firstly keep doing what your doing with your grades, they should be your priority.It has been quite a few years since I was at school and unless things have changed then I can't imagine a boy being put off by a girl who gets better grades. I remember the smartest girl's in my year were really popular. The comment the 'nice girl' made was just a joke, so don't go there.They might find you intimidating in the way that they consider you a serious person and that any fun/joking around will not be accepted by you, and that you would rather just focus and involved in studies.
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reader, Iykeiscool  +, writes (21 May 2011):
Let me try to answer your questions. Do some boys feel intimidated if a girl gets higher scores than they? Yes and no, yes they may be intimidated but no it doesnt stop them from expressing their true feelings to the girl, in fact that may be your strong point to some boys. Holding back from answering a question you know doesn't only kill your dream it also weakens your chances with other genuine guys who may be interested in you. Keep answering the questions and being yourself and helping out. That may not solve the problem directly but it'd make it no worse. As for fashion always try to fit in, and be acceptable. Also socialising and mixing would help make you get more friends.
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reader, llifton +, writes (21 May 2011):
 you definitely DON'T let your grades drop just to get the attention of some pathetic, intimidated guys who are stuck in the last century and believe that men should be mentally superior. you should never change who you are to appease anyone. eventually, you'll find a great guy who loves you for your intelligence. until then, keep on doing what you've been doing. you sound like a really smart girl! good for you.
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