A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been considering donating my eggs and have been "preliminarily accepted," meaning that I've filled out my application and sent pictures; and now they want to interview me face-to-face. While I've considered all aspects of it and now that I'm 27 I've come to terms with the idea that I may not ever have children so I might as well help those that really want a child but cannot conceive (plus I do need the money), so I'm not having trouble with the decison to proceed.However, I've been dating someone and think that it may develop into a relationship. I still plan on donating my eggs, but I'm wondering if I should tell him about it? Probably not anytime in the near future but later on if it becomes pretty serious? Would any men be weirded out that their girlfriend donated her eggs? Even if it's someone else in the future, is this something that a man would want to know, or is it not necessary and I should just keep it to myself? Thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all your responses! I wasn't sure what kind of feedback I would get. I've mentioned it to a couple friends in the past when I was contemplating it and they actually freaked out about it a little. Asking me if I'll be weirded out about having little ones running around that I don't know about. It felt a little critical and I don't really think it's a big deal--especially since there's people dying to have a child and can't.
As far as being 27 and coming to terms with the idea that I might not have children--I know that I probably have 15-years or so to still conceive. But as a woman and knowing that you have a biological clock, you get to a certain point where you realize that it might not ever happen. No, I'm not with someone serious as of yet, just someone that has potential to be my boyfriend. With that said, he may not be the "one" and I might not have kids with him; who knows? Ultimately, I just wanted to get some views on a man's perspective toward this; as far as if he would be shocked and upset by it since if my eggs were used I'd have "children" that belong to other people.
But thank you for all your answers, they helped me a lot and gave me some peace of mind.
A
male
reader, als77  +, writes (7 January 2011):
I think it is mature and reasonable of you to ask this question. I see that the replies goes like "it is your life/body and your future BF should accept it", but I don't agree to this. If a man aged 40 wants to have sex with his sons 18year old ex-GF, it is perfectly legal, but he cannot except that his future GF would not judge him for it... (however, it may still be valid that such a person is not right for him). Our actions affect other people, and even though we should try to not judge other people, we should be aware that some people may have problems with your choices in life. You should not live your life by this rule, but you should be aware of it! You are aware that reproduction is a big thing, and therefor are worried that maybe a BF would not be happy about it. I think it is very deasent of you to ask this question.If I discovered that my GF had donated an egg before she met me, I don't think I would have any problems with this (unless the primal motive was money), at least when it is anonymous (discovered as in if she told me. I would not like it if I heard it from others). Since I am rather weird and oldfashioned, I don't think there are many men that would... I would however be puzzled and probably wounded if my GF donated an egg while dating me and did not confere with me (I don't think I would object to it, but still). However, confering on this issue early in the dating stage would be very weird (and "wrong"?). By the way: Donating egg so that unfortunate couples may have their greates wish come true is probably one of the best gifts you can give another person!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): How does one come to terms with not ever having children at the age of 27? Didnt you write you are with someone who has serious potential? If you don't want kids than you should tell him. If you want money for putting your eggs up for adoption than why not as long as you feel comfortable with it even if you have kids later. Your eggs your choice. Who knows maybe your boyfriend is a sperm donor.
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A
female
reader, ToHereKnowsWhen  +, writes (7 January 2011):
 I can't think of a reason why a man would get weirded out if you donate your eggs. You have obviously thought this out rationally. I think it is a good idea to tell a man in your future about this. If you explained this to him like you have in your post, I am sure he would understand. If not, that would say more about him than you. I think you are doing something great.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): I would think twice about a man who is 'weirded out' by the choices that I made in the past- good and bad. The decisions we make as we go through life make us who we are and ultimately a partner needs to accept them fully if they are to accept you. That is not to say they should agree with it though. So this is basically the crux of my answer: You will get some men who might not like it, others who might see you in a more positive light because of it, either way if they can accept it, then that is what matters.
As to telling them, yes you should and then let them make up their mid about how they should feel about it.
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A
male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (7 January 2011):
I don't think he would be weirded out. I think donating your eggs is a really signifigant action in your life so why would you want to keep it to yourself? Plus why at 27 have you "come to terms" with not having children? 27 is not too old to have children at all.
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A
female
reader, LostInMyself +, writes (7 January 2011):
 Hello! Have you seen the movie, "The Back -Up plan"? It seems similar to your story. She goes ahead with insemination and once inseminated meets a guy she falls for. It is quite funny, (IMO) and it could maybe help you or give you a smile :) Maybe you can see it with him and ask what he thinks? ;) hehe :)
Well , now to my advice. If you want to share it , its up to YOU. If you chose to do this, is because you are confident on your choice and you should always stand up for it and defend it. I would do the same if I dont have kids! I think I might even adopt, and donate, or something like that :) I understand you :) Why not help other? and get paid too? :) seems perfect :D
If you want to share it, share it! :) BUT it is YOUR body! and YOU chose to do that with YOUR body! It is your decision :) Same as Tattoos or piercings :P If a guy doesnt like them, but a girl they love alreayd had them done...What can he do? Either take it or leave it!
So stand up for your choice, you dont have to share it! If you do and he does not get it, and judges you...well then he really does not respect you :) No one can judge others. :D
Do as you please :) and do what you feel is right :D Keep in mind it is your personal choice and no one can bash you for it!
Good luck on everything! :D
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A
female
reader, LostInMyself +, writes (7 January 2011):
Hello! Have you seen the movie, "The Back -Up plan"? It seems similar to your story. She goes ahead with insemination and once inseminated meets a guy she falls for. It is quite funny, (IMO) and it could maybe help you or give you a smile :) Maybe you can see it with him and ask what he thinks? ;) hehe :)
Well , now to my advice. If you want to share it , its up to YOU. If you chose to do this, is because you are confident on your choice and you should always stand up for it and defend it. I would do the same if I dont have kids! I think I might even adopt, and donate, or something like that :) I understand you :) Why not help other? and get paid too? :) seems perfect :D
If you want to share it, share it! :) BUT it is YOUR body! and YOU chose to do that with YOUR body! It is your decision :) Same as Tattoos or piercings :P If a guy doesnt like them, but a girl they love alreayd had them done...What can he do? Either take it or leave it!
So stand up for your choice, you dont have to share it! If you do and he does not get it, and judges you...well then he really does not respect you :) No one can judge others. :D
Do as you please :) and do what you feel is right :D Keep in mind it is your personal choice and no one can bash you for it!
Good luck on everything! :D
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (7 January 2011):
 It really isn't any of his business. I doubt it will affect your relationship and if he finds out, he has no reason to be distraught in any way, all you did was give something you didn't need away for those who do need it. It is the equivalent of donating blood and if he is 'weirded out' by that, something is deeply wrong with his thinking.
I hope that helps.
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