A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've recently started seeing this amazing guy, who I really do like, it's early days but still. We both really like each other and things are going good. But the other day we were walking through town holding hands, and I got a text from my ex (I had deleted his contact but recognised the number). It said 'glad to see you've moved on with someone new :)'. I thought nothing of it, but then the next day I got another text from the same number saying 'fine, ignore me then, despite how I said something nice to you and not even bothering to ask how I was'. I replied saying 'sorry I just sure whether or not to reply etc because I've moved on'. I then got a barrage of texts, one saying 'just make sure he knows you like that pay for things..'. I asked what he meant and he said 'that you never let me pay for anything like coffee, meals, hotels etc'. I told him repeatedly, as well as at the time, that this is because I am earning and he wasn't (as a student) and that I honestly didn't mind. I appreciate the hotels sounds a bit sleazy, but we both agreed it was the lesser of two evils as neither parents would let us stay over at each others houses etc. So he has basically accused me of 'paying him for his time', which is complete nonsense. I told him this over and over again! But he just said 'he wouldn't put it past me'. I can't emphasis how untrue that accusation is, but still I'm really hurt and shocked that he'd think I'd do that, despite telling him constantly, when we were together, how much I liked him etc.We broke up about 2 1/2 weeks ago, but a week ago I met someone new (the guy I'm with now) and things are going really well, I couldn't be happier with him. He says he's fine with how things are going etc, but I'm concerned now because I admit that I am a rather insecure person (I can't help that despite trying). I don't know whether to explain everything to the guy I'm with now, but I'm frightened that it will scare him off a bit. He is such a placid guy and I don't think it will, but still.Should I explain everything to him about what has happened, in hope that he will understand where the insecurity is coming from, or just not tell him and the run the risk of him finding out and wonder why I haven't been honest with him.I should explain that my ex broke up with me, saying that 'he just didn't have the same feelings towards me'. I had asked for him back a week after we broke up, then when he said 'no', I made myself move on, then I met this amazing guy (who I didn't go looking for, it just happened).Any advise will be greatly appreciated. Thanks
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broke up, insecure, move on, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (17 June 2013):
 No need to explain, you just need to learn to not give so many fucks about what an ex thinks and STOP talking/texting with him, he is only out to poke and jab you and that is doing NOTHING good for you (or for him really).
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2013): OP there's no need to tell the new guy you got suckered into a bullshit bunch of messages with an ex who only messaged you with that intention.
I mean your entire first paragraph is nothing but bullshit back-biting, completely irrelevant crap and you felt the need to dedicate most of your post to it. You sure you've moved on OP?
Your new guy only needs to know how recently you broke up with your ex so he can get a heads up about the possibility of him being a rebound. He doesn't need to know you're a sucker for emotional blackmail from your ex. In fact I'd run a mile at the first hint you were that weak. I personally am not into women who can be baited so easily. What a nasty spiteful little couple of texts he sent you, and what do you do? Apologise to him in case you were inconsiderate.
Actually the more I think about it OP maybe your new guy should know that you haven't moved on. I mean otherwise why respond to your ex's very obvious little ploy? He was just waiting for you to respond and when you did, the shit hit the fan.
If you're that much of a sucker OP then yeah, tell the new guy everything. He should know what he's getting into here. A rebound girl who has not moved on and still has a major weakness for her ex.
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