A
male
age
36-40,
*ay3532
writes:how do you keep a woman?please im asking this advice to women who are married or have been with someone long term, why do you stay with your man? I am in a relationship with a girl i love very much, and yes we have our ups and downs but i always have this fear they will leave me, how do i elminate this fear, and how do i 'educate' and 'learn' to KNOW how to make a woman never stray? i know hard question, but im hoping some women who are married or 'in love' can shed some light on what a lad can do to achieve this ... This question has puzzled me a long time now, no matter what iv been through, iv been with many women, nothing seems to 'last', even long term i notice most relationships end around the 4 year mark and most are on and off, but how do you maintain something to old age? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2012): With my guy? He keeps the sex exciting! I have found with many relationships that I have been in? Men tend to get lazy. At first, It's all about me. Eventually it's a downward slope leading to his pleasure only...
Of course this isn't the only thing that counts. My boyfriend is considerate, makes me laugh, thoughtful, and really cares about my feelings. He tells me that I am beautiful and always shows intrest in me.
We are best friends. Communication seems difficult sometimes, but it is so important that we talk about things. I love him & wouldn't trade him in for the world.
A
female
reader, kata1l +, writes (22 August 2012):
wow kc 100 I LOVE your list of things your man does that keeps you together. I happen to know a man like that, too. We are lucky to find them, although I know you contribute, too! I am copying and pasting your list to remind me from time to time what a good man I know!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (22 August 2012):
 You can be certain that your lady will never stray if:
1. You take out - and operate - the vacuum cleaner now and again,.... and,
2. You make sure that she is satisfied at the end of the evening.... just before going to sleep.... and,
3. By telling her just how beautiful she is.... EVERY DAY... and,
4. MEANING Number 3....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (22 August 2012):
 There is no real secret to how marriages last long term - some marriages can only last a couple of years, some can last 25+ years, or taking my parents as an example - they had been together 24 years and my dad decides to cheat! Thankfully they worked things out, but it just shows that no matter how long you have been together someone can always stray or leave, no matter what the other person does to try and keep their partner happy.
All you can do is be yourself and be the best person you can be, and put your faith in your partner. There is a lyric in a song I find quite true - "Where you invest your love, you invest your life". At the end of the day love is a risk, relationships are a gamble. Some work out, some dont - there is no magic solution to keeping people together, a lot of it relies on timing and luck.
If you are 100% in love with your partner, trust her 100% and know that she is not the type of person to cheat then you are half way there! As long as you have faith in her then she will really appreciate that, whereas if you doubt her and dont trust her she will resent you because of that and may end up feeling like you are pushing her away through fear of being hurt.
But if you want a few reasons why I have stayed with my partner long term, here are my main reasons why I love my man and see myself being with him forever:
1. He makes me laugh and we joke around a lot together
2. We trust each other completely and never doubt each other
3. We dont fight, and if we fall out we talk about it and resolve the issue without shouting and screaming
4. He is a gentleman and has great manners
5. We have a good sex life and I am very attracted to him
6. We have lots in common and enjoy each other's company
7. He is my best friend, I can tell him anything and share everything with him
8. We can be independent despite being so close - we have our own hobbies, our own friends and dont feel we have to go out with each other all the time.
9. We want the same things from the future - we both want to get married and have kids
10. He is ambitous, works hard and has a good job so we can both enjoy a good lifestyle (even though I earn a bit more than him)
11. He helps out around the house, cooks tea for when I get in from work etc. He may not be the most romantic man in the world, but he does give a lot to me and makes a lot of effort in the little things which make a big difference.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 August 2012):
 well these things are important
don't yell if you can help it
help around the house (without being asked is nice, if you are asked DO IT ASAP)
offer affection all the time (but not demand sex) we have sex infrequently but we cuddle DAILY... even if it's on the couch to watch TV or in bed for a few minutes morning and night...
be polite
be well groomed
be educated and not embarrassing to her around her friends
LOVE HER....
be generous with your time, spirit and your funds...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2012): I m married for 20 years. I can say we are happily married, but it doesn't mean we don't have our ups and downs.
I married very young, and why I stayed with my husband all these years, because first of all I feel secure with him, and not only money wise. He is not making tons of money, just average middle class salary which gives us comfort.
I feel secure with him. I know he won't abandon me and be with me if I get sick. It happened already, and he was there for me the whole time until I re covered.
He is generous with me. He never controls me when it comes to me buying things or travel. Well, he also knows I m reasonable.
He never said I need to contribute to the household, or split things. What was his was mine. And visa versa. When I stayed home with our child, he pulled the whole household by himself working 2 jobs.
You mentioned that after 4 years they leave. Because after 4 years things need to progress. Either you stay together and have a family or if you don't mKe a move, of course the ll leave.
Good luck to you
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