Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (5 September 2012):
 I am happy to hear he is improving and the outlook seems very positive. Please do put yourself first, as your children need you most of all, and I hope he's able to continue his treatment and that things work out for the best for you all. Be well!
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female
reader, ktmae +, writes (3 September 2012):
ktmae is verified as being by the original poster of the question ok another update i had him bakeracted last monday they let me get him out weds to go to his appt thurs as long as he was with me till the appt and they gave him meds for this month the out come is amazing and the person i care so much is back but i still have my gaurd up and he knows that it is going to take a while if anything gonna go anywhere else but im so happy to see him doing well . Last week was so hard but these docs have been great thank you all so much
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reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 August 2012):
 I'm glad he is seeking help. And I think being there for him, but setting clear rules is a very smart thing too.
Good luck to you both!
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reader, ktmae +, writes (24 August 2012):
ktmae is verified as being by the original poster of the questionjust a little update in case anyone was wondering ... He called and set up a doc appt for this thurs. I am going with him as a friend for support . Made a rule if i am gonna go that we wont talk about relationship issues only things to help better himself . He asked if this works would we try again and i said that i wasnt sure but i would love for him to live life normaly. I also told him that befor he could love someone else he has to love his self first and want to take care of him self. So fingers crossed that he is on the road to a better life .
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reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 August 2012):
 if it was just you I could see toughing it out (I do) but with small kids you have to protect them.
this is not saying you are a weak person or a bad person... but folks have to WANT to be helped.
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reader, ktmae +, writes (22 August 2012):
ktmae is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for your help ... and being someone to vent to.Yall are all right ... i do know that . it just sucks .plain and simple . i am a caring person and i guess sometimes it bites me in the ass but to late to change that now but yes i do put my children first and always will be that way . I guess life isnt meant to be fair but i wish that people didnt have to go through what he is going through . i guess the only help i can give is to keep praying .... and hope god answers .
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reader, ktmae +, writes (22 August 2012):
ktmae is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI agree ... it is just hurting really bad knowing that there is nothing i can do i guess. feel like a horrible person for backing out when i do actually care so much , but i have my hands full. im a full time mommy to 2 small kids and i just cant put them in this . With my job and them i just cant change my life to put him in it . he requires more than i have have but you would think his family would step in but ...NO !!! his mom actually told me i wish he would stop talking about suicide and just do it ... really ??? ... this all makes my heart hurt soooo much . i been looking up number after number and just cant get anywhere ... i keep praying god will step in .
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reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (22 August 2012):
You need to put the safety of your children and your own well-being first. You know how on airplanes, they tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself first, before helping other people? This is because if you are incapacitated, you cannot help others and in fact become a liability.
Your boyfriend has reached the liability state as he is not managing his brain disease. It is very sad and deeply unfortunate but there is it is. You can't change the reality of that fact, all you can do is react to it and I think you are wise in knowing that it's time to let him go.
It may in fact be the thing that sets him on the path to wellness. You just can't put your own health and well-being at risk as you have children relying, dependent on you. Their needs come before his, really, for you, don't they?
Good luck and I hope he does eventually get the help he needs. You sound like a caring person. What you are proposing is the most difficult thing a caring person has to do, break up with him, but ultimately it shows you know what your priorities are.
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reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 August 2012):
Sadly I agree with Honeypie... if he doesn't want help there is not much you can do.
He needs to be in treatment which includes medications and those tend to be problematic especially for men as they can cause sexual dysfunction and most men I know would rather be "crazy" than take meds that give them "penis problems"
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reader, ktmae +, writes (22 August 2012):
ktmae is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni have and i have looked up doc # and told him to make an app he says he gas but something comes up and he cant go. The saddest part is i know he wants the help but i dont think he can make himself do it as crazy as that sounds. Im just recently realizing how mentally unstable he is.i thought at first it was insecurity but it more than that . Im scared he is gonna hurt himself . He thinks im blaming him for things when i talk to him even though im only talking about getting him help not relatiohship or other issues . Im just dont know what to do to help. How do you help if he doesnt seem to be able to help himself?
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reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 August 2012):
You can't MAKE him get help, you can't MAKE him take his meds :( That is the sad reality of metal illness.
Only he can change this. HE can seek medical help, get med and take them. But it's something only HE can really do.
Have you talked to him when he is in a "decent" mood?
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