A
male
age
36-40,
*onfused 23
writes:I have been going out with my Gf for 3 yrs. The relationship was going down hill due to us arguing all the time about stupid things. about a month ago she told me she wants a brake. She told me she wants to do her own thing and concertrate on school. she really wantes to move when shes grads. from college.While we were talking about the brake she sed she for the past 3 yrs of us being together she pic us being married... but she didnt have the heart or strength to work on the relationship right now... when i left her house she sed we can still be friends...... 2 weeks after that she contacts me to tell me that her sister in law had the baby she sent pics of the baby too..... we talked a lil about us . I asked her if she was happy with the brake she sed yes and no... the convo ended with her saying im not ready to get back together yet.. the brake been goin on for almost a month and heard from her once which was thru a text....... so im wondering if i should move on or if there is any hope of her coming around
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get back together, move on, sister in law, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, kadeebug +, writes (6 August 2008):
well lets see she is kinda giving you the cold shoulder no well heres what you can do just give her the space and time she wants and in the mean time while your waiting for her to deside what she wants to do you start dating others and not getting serious just so you keep your opitions open and if time goes by and she still doesnt call place a phone call to her and say something like this hey just calling to say hi and see how things are going i was wondering about you and I and just start talking about it and if she still doesnt have an answer for you by then you know that she dosent want to get back together and her mind is made up and you should go on seeing other people and move on i know its hard and it hurts but there is really nothing else you can do but i hope that things dont go that way for you i hope she says yes i would love to get back together and all she needed was time to clear her head i hope this information helped good luck
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (24 March 2008):
 Take a break from her and go out and see the new world without her.
Leave that question aside ,for in time the answer will just come forth.
Don't agonized over it..
Go out and just enjoy your life.
You are now Born Free!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008): maybe you should start to try to get over her.go out to places with friends and maybe another girl will catch your eye and it will be fate.you never know what tomorrow brings, you just have to let it guide you.
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A
female
reader, BigSis  +, writes (24 March 2008):
 She seems to be more interested in her studies at the moment, so I think you should give her the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps she feels she may have been neglecting her studies while you were together, and that the constant arguing was keeping her from concentrating.
She sounds quite an intelligent girl, and judging by what you have told us, I personally don't think she's stringing you along.
Try not to put her under any pressure.
Understand how she is feeling at the moment, honey, and if you really love her that much then....
a) Allow her the space she needs. (Because it can't be easy for her to concentrate on her studying and have a boyfriend to boot)...and..
b) Tell her you are willing to wait for her, 'til she's finished her studies and graduates. (That way, she'll know how much you really love her, or...she will tell you not to wait and move on.)
Give it a shot, my love, then either way you can decide what to do and not fret anymore and get on with your life.
All the best, and good luck. BigSis xXx
(Let us know, please, what happens, if you take these steps.)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008): I am sure that she just doesnt have the heart or courage to tell you the honest truth-
you should ask her if she still thinks about you before she goes to sleep at night.
i think maybe she is either scared of being hurt or scared to go into further commitment if she isnt sure she will get anything from it.
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A
male
reader, Sir Chaos +, writes (24 March 2008):
Oddly enough I recently went through the same exact thing. Obviously you want to get back with this girl. Its not 100% but I can give you a game plan and some ideas that will almost gaurantee her return. First and foremost, when a girl says she wants to take a break its either her way of letting you down nicely or she just doesn't have the balls to break up with you completely. Especially after being together for 3 years it can be a scary thing being alone. What you need tod o is decide if you really want this girl back or not. Make sure its not just your rejected ego or you being scared that you'll never find anyone else. So here goes....
Unless the guy cheats or is abusive to the girl, normally she will only break up with him for one reason and that reason is she is just not attracted to you anymore in the way she used to be. It could be because of any number of reasons. Either you changed something about yourself or you gave all your power over to her and let her guide the relationship, maybe you became a huge sissy and agreed with every word she said and let her walk all over you. The other option is sometimes relationships get boring and predictable and that kills the attraction. I promise you it is not her wanting to concentrate on school. As much as you miss her, she misses you too..which is why she is still going to contact you every now and then. Your best bet is to give her the space she wants. Let her keep contacting you and work on learning how to build attraction with girls and think about what you changed about yourself through the course of the relationship. Go out and date other girls, basically move on until shes ready. Do not let her string you along until she makes up her mind about whats he wants. If this confuses you completely, do yourself a HUGE favor and check out a few websites: doubleyourdating.com, realworldseduction.com and thedatingwizard.com. They offer free newsletters, ebooks and dvd sets that will not only help you understand how women think and what they really mean, but it will show you how to create attraction in women and how to not have a boring relationship. Remember, you cant force anyone to be in love with you. The more you push the more she will pull away, you have to let her decide if she wants to be with you. What you can do is learn to build attraction in her to help pull her back. In the meantime move on. It was her choice to take abreak not yours, so there is no wrong in you enjoying yourself.
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A
male
reader, confused 23 +, writes (24 March 2008):
confused 23 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionkay kay,
we are not each others first... im trying to respect her wishes and not contacting her.. like i mean she wanted the brake so let her contact me if she wants too... i guess the best thing i can do is live my life day by day...take it as it goes
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008): a month isn't long to be waiting.
and in my opinion, good things always
come to those who wait. if you feel like
it's worth it then you should. clearly your
in love with her, as is she. But maybe theres
just stuff she needs to deal with first. Maybe
she's scared?.. you can't just forget about someone
after being with them for three years. It just doesn't
make sense that she has only talked to you once through
TEXT throughout an entire month.. thats the only thing im
second guessing with this situation. and to be honest moving
on is the hardest part of letting go and your not goign to be able to go it whether you try or not. so i say wait as long as you can till it hurts. and as i can tell you probably have so much to say to her but are scared too.. just explain to her that you miss her and what you guys used to be.. ASK her if theres any point waiting.. if she says no, there will be plenty other chances too re-create your love with someone else, as hard as it may be to believe that right now, it's true. I really hope you follow this advice, and i totally know where your coming from. Just remember, everything happens for a reason and whatevers meant to happen, in the end it will.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008): Give it a few months. Remain friends in the meantime adn try to be a very good friend to her. Work on your temperment
in regards to your argueing(?) with her....try to not let little or small things matter in your lives that would lead to an argument. If in a few months......she has not decided to get back with you to work on it....then accept this and move on. It will not be easy moving on from a true love, but it can be done. God luck to you both, I wish you the best.
Badvoice!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008): I say leave her. Who wants to marry someone they argue with all the time?
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