A
male
age
26-29,
*ock up11
writes:Hello there :),I'm a closeted sophmore and for months now I've been trying to figure out a way to come out of the closet to my friends and family. I've thought of all the possible out comes and I have a back up plan in case things go badly. But I'm not sure how to go about it. Honestly I couldn't care less about how people at my school would react but I'm terrified of my parents reaction so I thought about doing it right before I had to leave for school but then it occured to me that wouldn't be fair to them if they had questions. I've considered e-mailing it to them, writting a letter, calling them when I'm at camp and telling them, etc. I've found a lot of flaws in these plans and I don't like them.My most recent idea and in my opinion my most reasonable idea is to come out to all my friends on facebook. This will lead to every one in school finding out, including my brother. My brother, being the idiot that he is, will confront me about this in front of my parents (trying to embarass me) and I will simply tell him and my parents the truth. I would really appreciate your opinions on this idea. I would also appreciate any other ideas, what do you think is the best way to come out? Like I said I already have a back up plan if things go wrong with my parents (I have a family member that already knows and has offered to take me in if things go badly)
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male
reader, Lock up11 +, writes (8 September 2011):
Lock up11 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for the advice!!!!!
A
male
reader, AvgGuy1 +, writes (8 September 2011):
 I concur with TasteOfIndia. Coming out using social media REALLY isn't a good idea.
Why not just sit down with your parents... and tell them? If, as you suspect, they'll freak out doing it via FB/Twitter, etc will probably set them off even further. You'll get the - what must all the people you told on facebook think of us? effect.
I myself, think that the leaving for school... and then sitting down and writing a letter - you know... on paper and mailing it back to your parents. don't send an email. It's less personal than a handwritten letter. I know you'll think that it's not fair to them... but the separation will give them a chance to freak out, grieve, and think things over a bit before you have to deal with them. I wouldn't tell your brother, initially, because I'm sure your parents will talk to him to find out if you told him already. This will then cause him to get a hold of you and you can then ask him how they took the news.
In your letter you'll wanna say that you've been agonizing over it for quite a while especially because you think they'll be disappointed... but that you've finally come to the realization that you can't fight it anymore and to just accept the fact that you are gay/bi.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (8 September 2011):
 Hello sweet,
I really, really, really think coming out on Facebook isn't a good thing to do. You should tell your family first. They should not find out through the internet grapevine. If your brother is the one who will tattle, why not tell your brother face to face first and let things go from there? Maybe he'll even be supportive and be good moral support for you when you tell your parents.
You should maybe tell a few close friends too. You should have some people who know from YOU, so that they can be supportive; so they can be friends! Facebook is very impersonal. It's fine for general people, but for people who are close to you, I think they should find out from YOU - not the internet.
Good luck!
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