A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:We're not officially together anymore,we're kinda taking a break. We're married on facebook, and when people refer to me as his girlfriend he doesn't deny it. Like if someone says he has a really pretty girlfriend, which his friends do a lot, he blushes or says thanks. When we're in public and he sees someone he knows, he puts his arm around me or something. But when they're not, he won't even kiss me. He said it's not time for that because he wants to focus on school and get a job. Does he actually mean that? Or is he just keeping me around for show? Also, we're kinda off and on a lot...he ignores a lot when he gets mad or something or when he's in a bad mood. It's been nine months now. He also said he won't say he loves me cause he doesn't want to "speak out of turn". Is he just keeping me around for show? All his friends are impressed with his being with me, although he doesn't seem like the type to care what people think. Or is he actually doing what he says and is preparing for the future?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2011): I'm assuming you must be very pretty and what his friends consider "ideal" in the looks department considering how you describe his behavior. But emotionally he is not there. You deserve to have someone love you for more than your looks and to be more than a trophy. I think it is common that very pretty girls fall into this trap, not realizing that they are much more than outward. I'm sure you have many talents and interests, and having a man who thinks of you for your brain as well as your looks.
So I would just let him go. There is someone better for you out there! Don't allow men to treat you like a doll.
A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (8 September 2011):
 It sounds like you are just an arm piece to him to show off when ever he wants you to be there. I reccomend finding someone else. My guess is there is no sexual stuff going on which would be another reason why he would want to keep you around. You deserve to be more then just his public gf. He may be preparing for his future but from what you have said once the novelty of him having you around wears off you won't be part of his future.
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