A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've being dating a married man for a year now and initially I thought he was single because he is a young guy.After 3 weeks of getting to know him and fallen for him, he told me he had a wife and they got married because the lady was a girlfriend and she got pregnant for him. Their marriage however seems to be a an engagement not wedding. And actually, I had a boyfriend before meeting this guy.He told me it was really a mistake and that he wants to be with me instead. He acted jealous each time I talked to my boyfriend and told me to choose either him or my boyfriend. I left my boyfriend for him. I met him 5 months after he got married. I can see he truly loves me because he does not hide me even to his family, friends, wherever and the lady even got to know about it and he does not care.However I asked him that if he's not comfortable with his wife then when is he going to leave her? He told me when the baby starts walking he will do that. And his family are aware and they always say, he alone make that decision, whether to leave his wife which he's unhappy with or to be with me. But frankly he spends almost all his time with me.Will he ever leave his wife like he has said and what do I do cause I really luv him and I know he does. And do you think he loves his wife?
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female
reader, Jayeanna  +, writes (5 February 2013):
Listen to SageOldGuy. He's absolutely spot on. Happened to several friends of mine. Same scenario. But usually the married guy would say "when my kids are in high school I'm leaving my wife". Funny. One of the married men who kept my friend Salma hanging on for 12 years finally did leave his wife. But not for Salma. For another woman coworker he'd been cheating with all along. Roll the dice if you must but don't cry if it comes up craps.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI really love him so much. And I thank you guys for your answers. I really want to be with him. How do I get him to marry me or be mine alone, even though he shows commitment? And if he doesn't leave his wife after the baby starts walking, am I ever ready to leave him?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 February 2013):
 My oldest started walking seriously walking at 9 months but my baby did not walk till 13 months so there are variances but still all in all most babies walk around 12 months.
IF the baby gets to let's be GENEROUS here 18 months and is not only walking but running and climbing and getting into stuff.... and he as not left his wife, what will you do?
I do not think he will leave his wife. why should he.
he's got her accepting you
he's got his family accepting you
he's got you accepting his crumbs...
if you really want this man (and i"m not sure why you would since after you get him, will you even trust him if he's not with you????) the BEST way to see if he is really serious about leaving his wife for you is to cut off ALL CONTACT with him now until he leave his wife.
IF he wanted to leave his wife for you because he loved you, he would have done it already.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 February 2013):
 Time will tell, and luckily, it will tell real soon. If when you met him he had been married 5 months with a pregnant lady, that means that 2 or 3 months or so after you met, this baby was born, so now the baby will be 9 or 10 months right ? It should start walking pretty soon, around one year of age, 18 months at the very very very last.
Just a few months more, and you'll know if he tells the truth.
Which he does not , of course. I 'd be ready to bet that once the baby walks , he'll have to wait until he/she can go to daycare, or is off diapers, or in elementary school etc.etc.
But, if you are smart, once you see that the baby walks and the guy is still married, well, that should be self explanatory, shouldn't it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni totally don't doubt your answers,but this guy does not hide me anywhere.i can go to their house where he lives with his siblings and mum to sleep at his room with him for days and nobody complains.His mum likes me a lot.But he said for now the baby is young so when he starts walking,his sister can now take care of him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2013): From what i have read about these situations, married people very rarely leave their spouses for the person they are having an affair with...
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A
female
reader, Soldierette  +, writes (2 February 2013):
 I can relate to your situation..Quite honestly I think you need to look in the mirror and ask yourself is this whole scenario being fair to YOUI know you fell for the man and you love him but if you waited all this time are you really just being his pillar for him to come to you whenever he feels like it?Sounds to me that this man you are in love with is just keeping you for "fun"..He is married with a child, now unless he is heartless he will leave his wife and child for you, but according to your information I don't think this is the case..Seems like he is making excuses to say when the child starts walking.. after that it may be when the child goes to school or when he/she is old enough to understand..Have you thought about what makes you happy and what YOU want?If this man can give you an ultimatum and ask you to leave your previous partner I am sure he would do the same for you if he truly did love you?..It is not fair for you to be waiting around when you are young and have a life to lead too..darling let me ask you this question.. if he can have you and the wife, what's to say he can't do the same thing to you too?..Please look outside of the box and start to live your life for yourself!!..this man is clearly not in love with you as much as you are with him.. you deserve happiness love and respect, not someones second best...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2013): Ummm. I'm wondering why you left your boyfriend and you didn't question why he didn't leave his wife? If he was soooo jealous shouldn't he have reciprocated the same action so that the two of you could be together exclusively? Baby girl wake up! He ain't leaving. Either you're going to be content on being sloppy seconds or your going to wise up and leave. I hate to say this, but considering you believe EVERYTHING that is falling out his mouth, we will hearing from you again. I can read the post now. Boyfriend promised to leave his wife when the baby starts walking and he is still there. I don't trust he will. What should I do? Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (2 February 2013):
 So when you met, he was married with a baby and you had a boyfriend ... Not the best start. And now he's still married and you're his mistress. He has made up an arbitrary deadline for leaving his wife - why does he have to wait until the baby has started walking? I'm sure he'll come up with another excuse not to leave when the baby does start walking.
He could be staying with his wife because he loves her, or because he doesn't want to leave his child, or because he knows he doesn't really need to leave her - he can have both of you because you put up with it.
Sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear because you love him, but I really think you should move on. Leave him to his wife and child and find someone who you don't have to share. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (2 February 2013):
 Oh sure... he's going to leave his wife "when the baby starts walking...."
I'm willing to wager that, once the little tyke starts walking, he'll tell you that he'll leave his wife "when the baby starts running..."
After that, it will be: "... when the baby starts school.."
Then, ".. when the baby gets to high school"....
Then, ".... when the baby runs his first marathon...."
Then, "....when the baby graduates college...., and,
"... when the baby wins his first Nobel prize..."
Do you see the pattern????? He'll say whatever it takes to keep you on the hook....AND will keep you available for his se**al pleasures... whilest not upsetting his dalliance on his REAL wife....
Wake up NOW.... and dump him... and NEVER look back...
Married men RARELY "....leave his wife".... for that "bit on the side" who is willing to wait and wait for him. WHY SHOULD HE????????
Good luck....
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