A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey,I’ll start off with saying that I’m a 21 yr old virgin, not because of religion or because im waiting for the right guy to come alone I just work to much and really don’t have a social life. So the thought of having a boyfriend and how it all works is rather foreign for me. I was seeing a guy back in say June we never officially were in a relationship but we were seeing each other for like 3 weeks every day, during that time he was having a hard time with work and being evicted out of his house, so I just put this all down to stress, but the first week he was really affectionate and then as the time went on he started to change it got to the point that we were a little drunk and were getting pretty hot and heavy and I said we had to stop cause I wasn’t ready to have sex with him we had a talk about how he couldn’t give me what I wanted and then we didn’t see or speak to each other till new years. He told me that night how much he missed me and had being thinking about picking up the phone to ring me but didn’t no how I would take it and how he wanted to be back together ‘slowly’ (in this non relationship nothing happening fling, I guess I would call it.) so after the first 4 days of pretty hot and heavy (no intercourse) And its starting to happen again that the affection is winding down to the good bye kiss. Now I don’t know if its me cause I’m unsure where this is going and I also don’t want to seem to needy, but I think I’m coming off the other way to detached and uninterested when I’m not but I cant make the first move cause its just not in my personality (the problem with being a true Libran) and I don’t want to over step the boundaries so I cant talk to him about it because I’m rather shy when it comes to talking about my feelings. Even tho this is all happening I still really like him and I want this to work but I don’t know if I should walk away or suck it up and talk to him, Will talking to him about what i want out of this make me sound needy? I want to have sex with him this time around but again I don’t want to make the first move and he isn’t taking it any further, what should I do?He acts differently around his mates as well y do they do this?Any Advice would be great.Thanks.Ps, sorry for the length, grammar and any spelling mistakes.
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male
reader, NITRAM BLUE  +, writes (6 January 2009):
 You are on the right track when you say that you are keeping your virginity for the right man. Now is he the right man? Which is supposed to be your main question.
Q: Will talking to him about what i want out of this make me sound needy?
Why sound needy? You have this treasure (virginity) which a majority of American women of your age have lost to some loser they met at Spring Break? Now going back to your story, he seems a little wishy washy to me, don't you think?
"He told me that night how much he missed me and had being thinking about picking up the phone to ring me but didn’t no how I would take it and how he wanted to be back together ‘slowly’ (in this non relationship nothing happening fling, I guess I would call it.) so after the first 4 days of pretty hot and heavy (no intercourse) And its starting to happen again that the affection is winding down to the good bye kiss."
Q: I want to have sex with him this time around but again I don’t want to make the first move and he isn’t taking it any further,
Are you really sure about this? Is he the right man? Is he worth it? I am sorry but these questions are for you to answer but after preserving something for Mr. Right, it might end up with Mr. Rightly wrong.
what should I do?
Think about the events occured which you cant figure out. Is he toying with you? I have used psy war many times before just to get to the bottom of my skirts target. Is he using the same psy warfare on you?
My advice: Look for Mr.Right. Mr. Right cant be wrong.
He acts differently around his mates as well y do they do this?
A
female
reader, pastfirst  +, writes (6 January 2009):
 I get the feeling he's as young and inexperienced as you are.
You both seem to be giving out mixed nessages. If it's difficult for you to make the first move, write him a note and tell him how you feel. If he doesn't respond, you'll know how you stand.
He seems to be attracted to you but is also nervous about making the first move as he's not sure how you really feel and is afraid of rejection.
By the way, most young guys act differently when they're with their mates.
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