A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have known my boyfriend 6 years - we were good friends on and off throughout the years. There has always been a spark between us, but our timing was always off, one of us would have a partner, or various other reasons would keep us apart, not to mention worrying about ruining a really good friendship.So now we've been dating for 4 months. And it's strange. There's no passion...I really fancy him and am physically attracted to him, but for whatever reason I can't bring myself to be intimate with him. We haven't slept together. But on the other side, we get on amazingly, he treats me better than I ever have before, we get along so great...The list of good things long outweighs the bad, which is just one, the lack of passion.Can I compromise and still make it work?Will intimacy come eventually?Or is this just doomed to fail?I'm positive that if we break up I lose him out of my life completely. He told me (very immature) that if he can't be my boyfriend, he can't be my friend, he couldn't cope with seeing me with another guy etc.The thing is, the lack of intimacy is making me unhappy and feeling guilty. But I want to be with him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI agree...I think I was in denial because I so wanted it to work...
A
female
reader, pastfirst  +, writes (6 January 2009):
 Your question puzzles me. If you're physically attracted to each other, why is there no passion?
I think you see him more as just a friend or a brother figure, but you don't want to lose his friendship so you're "forcing" the physical side of the relationship. Passion should come naturally, if there is physical attraction on both sides.
You may even feel love for him but there are different kinds of love, and this is not the passionate kind.
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