A
female
age
30-35,
*tspattay
writes:My boyfriend for about a year and a half recently decided he couldn't be my boyfriend anymore. He is getting ready to graduate college while I still remain in school. Ultimately it is because he feels he can't do a long distance relationship and says how he "doesn't know where he's going to end up." This is killing me. I have been so beyond depressed the last two weeks because of this. I feel like half of me died. We had a really great relationship until he left this summer and had claimed that he thought he was developing feelings for another girl. When he returned he stated how he was confused, in a different country, they had to rely on one another, etc. Although he came back to me and things appeared to be normal, that was always in the back of my mind. While I'm waiting for his return, waiting for him, dying to be with him, he's spending time with this girl? That wasn't fair to me. A couple months went by and he constantly talked to her. I felt awkward all the time because he was always texting her, talking on the phone with her, etc. She would send texts about how she misses him and how she wants him there...I was furious by this. He decided to take a trip and meet her in Chicago. I begged him not to go because it hurt me so much, but he decided TO go because "nothing would change the way he felt" about me. A few more months went by, and now we are here. He told me that she was coming to our state and he was going to visit her. I was really uncomfortable with this because he had recently proposed we take a "break." I begged him not to sleep at her hotel or anything like that. He didn't talk to me the entire weekend and when I went to his place the following Monday I found out that he brought her to his apartment without telling me about it. I was so hurt that he did this and cried and told him I was done being hurt like this. He decided that because he was graduating soon that he didn't want to be in a serious relationship and everything. He still wants to be friends, but I don't think I can do that. I am so broken hearted right now. And I don't know if I will ever fall out of love with him. I can't sleep, focus, or anything. All I do is cry and think about him. This is the worst feeling I've ever felt. Will I ever feel complete again? Because right now, I feel like I have crumbled and will never be fixed. I can't go on feeling like this, because I feel like I will never get over him, never love someone else as much as I love him, or even be attracted to anyone. Please, someone help. I can't deal with this pain anymore. I need to know that it will be okay, that I will get over this, that I will find someone that actually respects my feelings and to where I mean everything to him, like he means everything to me. I need someone that will be 100% in our relationship...I can't be with someone who only looks for what makes "him" happy...I need someone who wants to make "us" happy.
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female
reader, itspattay +, writes (23 March 2011):
itspattay is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's just so hard. I can't feel better. It's like I am physically broken. I don't know what to do. Your words are encouraging and I do appreciate them.
A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (22 March 2011):
It seems as though you're much better off without him. While you were completely committed to him, he didn't show the same respect for you and didn't seem to care about your happiness one bit. I'm sure that you were in love with him, which is why it'll be hard to get through this period in your life, but I'm here to assure you that it DOES get better and that you deserve much much more.He didn't give a second thought to how much he hurt you and broke your heart. Distance yourself from him. Don't talk to him in any form and don't give him the satisfaction of contacting you. Delete his number, Facebook, etc from your life and move forward from this. Also get rid of any pictures/gifts that remind you of him.It will still be painful, but I guarantee the sooner you "delete" him from your life the sooner you'll feel better. Attach yourself to your friends. I would not recommend dating at all for a long while either; even though you may feel it'd be good for you, it'll only leave you more confused later.I'm sorry all of this happened and I hope that you start to look up from here on out. You're WAY better off without that jerk, your heart just needs a little time to realize it. :)
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (22 March 2011):
 I find this website will be helpful to you.
http://theeverydayshaman.ning.com/profiles/blogs/on-shamanism-and-soul
I had a break up after Christmas and we didn't speak for a week. When I couldn't sleep I would ask my angel/spirit questions, and to ask them to help me feel better. The word that I got was soul retrieval, so I looked it up online and read about it. The next morning I felt a vision, a hand holding mine, helping me stand up again. I couldn't tell if it was my boyfriend or my angel although I hoped it was my boyfriend. A few days later we go back together.
The difference is that my boyfriend is a more mature guy while your ex is deceitful.
I hope you enjoy that website. When I was depressed back then I also went to the hot tub. It was so peaceful and quiet. I noticed the stillness of the water. I know why they call it hydrotherapy. Other instant mood lifters are citrus smell, comedies, animals (both big and small), especially farm animals. They understand you.
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A
female
reader, bella5153 +, writes (21 March 2011):
He's not worth your tears, nor is he worth your time. Let go and let him go. You're young, your beautiful and you deserve better. It's a blessing in disguise... You'll see!
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