A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hey peoples. So I'm in a serious relationship with my boyfriend, I love him to bits. However, I find myself attracted to my other guy friends and I think I'm developing crushes. Just out of curiosity does this happen to anyone else besides me? Will I always be crushing on someone no matter how much I love my boyfriend?
View related questions:
crush Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 July 2012):
I have been madly in love with my partner and had crushes.
It's not the crush that matters... it's what you do with it... NOTHING...
sometimes if it's a mad crazy crush the best way to diffuse it is to tell the crush and your partner about the crush.
To me, I'm married (or committed) not dead.... and human nature is fickle...
just like I can get if my partner is crushing on someone else... it does not mean he does not love me or is not committed to me or is going to cheat on me, it' means he's a living breathing person....
Accept that you are human and committed not dead... look at the shiny new things/people... enjoy the crush, go home and love on your man... and if the crush gets overwhelming, then often admitting you have the crush (to your partner) will help make it go away as it becomes less forbidden.
A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (10 July 2012):
Looking is one thing - I think we look until the day we die. Desiring and worse, ACTING upon that desire is another. If you have genunie feelings for someone else, I would question how much you really "love your bf to bits." At your age, with emotions being relatively new, IMO people often confuse real love with what feels good at the moment. When things are new, its an easy mistake to make. This is why I very often tell people to wait until at least their mid-20s to tie the knot. By that time, you've probably been to the circus already, and realize that there is a difference.
...............................
A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (10 July 2012):
If you genuinely loved your boyfriend, you would not be taking an interest in other guys. Love is pretty much an all-consuming thing, especially initially. I think you need to take a step back from the relationship with your boyfriend and think about whether he is the man you really want to be with. To answer your question, if you love someone, you might notice other men, but you won't have crushes on them or be interested in them. That place should be reserved for your boyfriend.
...............................
A
male
reader, Love-Wisely +, writes (10 July 2012):
The good news is: you are aware of what's going on with your feelings. It's fairly normal to have warm and fuzzy feelings for more than one person at your age. (Especially if you are around a lot of attractive people.) -As long as you don't let the feelings overdevelop, or spend time alone with these guys, you are probably okay for now.
...............................
|