A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My cousin killed herself. She was 27yrs old. In my church we were always taught that if you kill youself then you are going to burn in hell forever. And I was eavesdropping when some family didnt know I was there and I heard them saying things about her soul being cast out of heaven forever now. I would like to think that maybe she lived her life in a good way that God may forgive her but I know that she had a hard life always, she ran away from home and 16 and she has caused alot of worry and hurt to her parents. And now the way she kill herself she has caused more hurt so I dont know if God will forgive her for all these things. I keep thinking that her life was always so hard and messed up from the start and now its going to be even worst for her - forever. I am really upset and worried, even though I am 12 I am mature and I can take an honest answer even if it could not be what I was seeking even if people do think she could really be doomed forever now. I want to hear thoughts from everyone - christian and non christian - I am very open minded to all different beliefs and cultures. Thanks everyone.
View related questions:
christian, cousin Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sweetontweety7777 +, writes (5 September 2008):
 only "tortured souls" committ the ultimate act of suicide. i am told by my nana that our god is a forgiving god. i don't believe he would make us live a tortured life on earth, only to torture us for all of eternity in hell. i think souls as hers, mine too, have a special place in heaven. we did our "hell" on earth. now its time for her to rest in the peaceful serenity of heaven.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2008): I think the idea that suicide equals going to hell is crazy. Nobody is born wanting to die. It's about the hardest possible thing to do, to make a living breathing human or animal so miserable that they actually kill themselves on purpose. Only an evil sadistic god would put someone into a life that drives them to suicide, and then punish them for actually doing it. If that's what God is really like, then I would rather go to hell for eternity than worship that sonofabitch.
...............................
A
female
reader, desperate_angel +, writes (3 September 2008):
 hi to you little girl, im catholic and like christian its the same belief. Yes ive heard of that thing, as a catholic a person who commits suicide could still accept prayers but i believe he/she cannot enter the church for the mass before going on the final destination.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2008): I've been through some hard times, and used to have suicidal thoughts.The only thing stopping me was God.I was so scared he would be dissapointed and angry in me, that I decided living through my problems, was much better than going to hell.Now that i'm older, I believe there's some people who just can't handle life, and God knows this and understands, and just wants to help us through our struggles.
...............................
A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (3 September 2008):
 I don't mean to get off topic but I agree with the other poster, I would never condemn someone for being gay.
When all's said and done, only God knows for sure what's in someone's heart, and we are not in a position to judge. I don't want to offend any non-religious person but I think it would be nice for us to pray for your cousin, and for your peace of mind.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2008): As an atheist I am probably not the best person to dispense spiritual advice, but I do know that if I believed in a god I'd believe in it because it was accepting, understanding and respected the predispositions built into every human. In this way, it is probably better for you to reach your own decisions about god instead of following a dogmatic norm - for instance, I know theists who don't believe in hell at all, which makes a lot of sense. If I was to be cheeky and militant I'd tell you to follow your heart's teachings and not the bible's; why take up a moral code (and an interpretation of god's own moral compass) that you dislike or find distressing when you have so much time in which to think over and develop your own? I only just now remembered how young you are, but you're clearly mature and intelligent - I'm sure, then that you'll get that not everybody thinks the same thing about god (even in the same wing of one religion) so why not come to your own conclusions about hell in relation to the love of your god? Nobody can conclusively prove their beliefs, so why not question and challenge your own if they're proving destructive or upsetting?About the suicide - morally it's never going to be black or white, there will always be questions left unanswered but for most people their motives lie in overwhelming depression or other strong emotions building and building up. Such emotional stigma is uncontrollable, and if it drives people to suicide it's almost never a malicious action - often there appears to be no other way out, and given the extreme circumstances you describe, maybe your cousin thought that too. My point is, the psychology is so complex that it can't possibly be their "fault" unless they meticulously planned it all with a view to harming others. As such, I don't think such an action should be punishable even if I thought it possible.Overall, though, just remember that spirituality is something that should be unique to an individual, not polarised into right and wrong. I hope this helps, your question fascinated me and I thought I'd offer my two cents.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2008):
Hi
Your cousin is been cared for by god and his angels. She is not in hell so do not worry, in this life she was poorly so Gods nurses will take care of her and make her strong again and she will work from heaven, instead of the world which she found too difficult. God is Love and he loves her just as he loves you and he forgives. These people you overheard in church are wrong ! and they have judged and condemned. They have sinned, it would have been Godly had you overheard them pray for your cousin and know that God will UNDERSTAND even when we don't.
As you have asked for a variety of religious viewpoints i will say to you that i do believe in God..but attach no label. But above all i believe God exists in ones own soul and his VOICE can be heard through our deeds. Just because some old bats sit in a church condemning everyone to hell...THEY are often the ones who step over the man in the gutter( who may actually NOT be drunk) and when they recite the good Samaritan they actually believe they fit the bill, all because they go to church. Sinners! the CHURCH is full of them just as outside the church...look for your religion within your heart and love your cousin and make nice memories for her and keep understanding. You be your cousins strength and let her live through you by holding special memories of her not bad ones. No she is most definitely not in hell..Love from you all will help her to heal in HEAVEN . God is not FEAR! HE IS lOVE.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2008): i am very sad to hear that you have lost your cousin, i think perhaps if there is an adult in the family that you find easy to talk to or even a teacher at school it may help you lots to come to terms with this is you have some grief counselling, death is very hard to understand at such a young age,
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2008): I agree with Emily 100%. She said, "This is why I don't follow organised Christianity but simply try and live a good life. It just seems to be so hypocritical to go on about love and then use that love as a justification to hate anyone who's different." This is the exact reason that I long ago became very disillusioned with organized religion. Very hypocritical in my opinion.
...............................
A
male
reader, Transcowboy +, writes (2 September 2008):
 I am not religious at all. but i do believe that god loves everyone and would never let one of his children suffer in hell if they were a good person. Yes your cousin killed herself but i do not believe she will burn in hell. I think she is watching over you from a cloud and you must always remember the good times. Dont let this bother you, just know that she is in a better place and is happy.
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (2 September 2008):
Well I think that the bible is really telling you 2 different things, and completely contradicts itself if you take it as one book.
Old testament god - yeah he'd send her to hell, he turned someone to salt just because she dared to watch something happen, and in the early parts of the old testament he was always demanding burnt offerings etc.
New Testament God - was chilled and out and forgiving. Didn't Jesus say that he forgives everyone? And the whole point of jesus was that HE died and took our sins for us... which means that he dies on the cross as punishment for EVERYTHING, including your cousins suicide. So she will be forgiven and be playing ping pong in heaven right now.
This is why I don't follow organised Christianity but simply try and live a good life. It just seems to be so hypocritical to go on about love and then use that love as a justification to hate anyone who's different.
I think you should believe what you want to believe. Just because people are older doesn't mean they know better. If they believe she's in hell it's because they want to feel like they are right and she is somehow different and wrong.
Any God who claims to love but who would turn his back on a troubled teen who doesn't know what she was doing, is not worth following in my opinion.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
A
female
reader, Seratuki +, writes (2 September 2008):
 Hello there.
I wanted to tell you. I have a best friend who tried to kill himself and survived. Although he was clinically dead for 10 minutes at one point. I won't give his name here, because it's not my place, but he overdosed and went into a coma, where his kidneys completely shut down and his family was told if he did survive he would be on dialisis. After 10 days in a coma they told his parents it would be better to take him off the machines and let him die because he would be a vegetable if he survived. They weren't getting any brain activity...well..his family begged to put him on dialisis and after 4 treatments he woke up!
You know what else? His kidneys started working again, and he's completely normal in terms of brain function...He's a walking miracle...
My point is, I asked him if he remembers being in the coma and dying. He does, He remembers walking toward a brilliant light and feeling an overwhelming sense of peace and release from all the burdens he suffered...But he heard his family talking to him, sort of far off and echoed. telling him to hold on and that they loved him...he went looking for them and thats when he woke up...
He told me that in his opinion God knew what had driven him to try to die and had forgiven him and given him a chance to make it right...He believes that God will forgive sucide because he knows why and what is in the heart of the person at the time...thats all that matters to God, he sees past the outside actions to the real reason. So I am sure your cousin is safe in his arms right now...
Hope that helps a little bit...
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2008): I don't think God will be angry with your cousin. I'm not religious myself, but I'm sure he will understand how much she was suffering and that the life she experienced wasn't making her happy. It wasn't the fault of your cousin, it was the awful circuimstances - most people in that situation really don't feel they have a choice. Trust me, I've been there. I'm alot younger than your cousin and I too ran away from home, caused my family alot of hurt and worry, thought about killing myself for a long time, and eventually tried to do it. But I'm happier now (most of the time). I hope I don't end up burning in hell.And at least your cousin is at peace now.x
...............................
A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera +, writes (2 September 2008):
I am really sorry about your cousin. Suicide is always wrong, it causes suffering, pain, and anguish for those who love you, whom you leave behind. Only God can see what is a person's heart, and will judge them accordingly. We, however, are not able to see into a person's heart... nobody knows for sure that a person went to hell. Continue to pray for her. It might help you to have someone to talk to. Is there a youth minister with whom you have good rapport? It wouldn't necessarily have to be "your" youth minister, just someone you feel at ease talking to, who understands your feelings.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2008): Hi, I'm Christian. I don't know the answer to your question, and I don't know that anyone can answer this and know for sure. (But I'm sure many people will claim to know) There are things in the bible that I think can't be the true word of God. (For example, I don't believe that being gay is a sin) And I have hope that a very bad decision of a depressed/confused person will not damn her to hell for eternity. I'll pray for her.
...............................
A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (2 September 2008):
 God is not stupid or mean or petty. Killing yourself is never the right answer however bad the situation but God will know what was in her heart and what she went through and he will forgive her.
...............................
|
