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Will a few days of no contact help him figure out his feelings for me?

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Question - (7 November 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 7 November 2012)
A female United States age 36-40, *ovemeright11 writes:

My boyfriend and I have choosen to kind of see if we can handle being apart for a week with no comunication except on facebook ,but only in silly post or something like that . Do you think it's health for us to do this ? I guess I am not an expert and this is something I think is good. The whole thing is makingme feel mysterious since we are having no contact. I don't know if it's making him feel differently,but I hope so the whole reason for us trying this out is because we have been together for almost a full toyears come december and I know my feeling for him,but he still says he feels the same as he did from day one of meting me which is nofeeling of love?? I don't really believe it cause of the way he treats me,but i do believe he should be able to feel something by now or at least be able to say something about how he feels other than , he really cares for me strongly. care and the way he acts with me has been the reason I have stayed with him. I think we will have a future so long as he figures it out. What do you guys think?

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (7 November 2012):

CindyCares agony aunt I think it's a rather futile experiment, since it's not really total no contact, and it is only for a week. Not enough for him to find out if he really misses you , and if the thought of life without you is intolerable for him, which, I suppose, is the sense of this experiment.

Also, I have to agree with Dorothy Dix - generally two years is more than enough for people to know if they love somebody , and not just "care " about them. It would seem another variation of " I love you but I am not in love with you "....

Then again, that's just the way some people can love and knows how to love - serenely and constantly, but without big stirrings of passion and overwhelming emotions, and who are we to say that it's a wrong way to love.... I think the problem is just to decide if you personally can be happy with that , or if you need a more passionate kind of love..

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A female reader, Dorothy Dix Australia +, writes (7 November 2012):

Hi there. After two whole years together, it doesn't seem like it's going to happen now, does it?

In most relationships where the two people get along really well, it's very often that they know if they love each other after about 2 months.

Perhaps he likes or loves you, but maybe he's not "In Love" with you.

So this might be the problem.

Unfortunately, having a complete break from each other might not change his feelings much at all.

The one thing that will happen though, is that he will know if he misses you when he's not with you.

And if this is the case, he will go on thinking about you and all the things he likes about you, and it could help him to make some kind of decision regards his feelings for you.

So in this case, it could be useful to him to have this break.

And I say this, especially if you and him are ALWAYS together, every single day.

By this I mean, that you don't have any time where you just see your friends and he does the same.

It's always good in any relationship, for both people to each have a life of their own, where they pursue hobbies and interests, and have friends of their own who they see at least once a week.

I'm just meaning that say once a week see your friends, and on another day pursue a hobby or interest.

Doing this also gives you some more things to talk about when you see each other again.

You both need that breathing space.

It is really important to have some time apart each week, so you don't get on each other's nerves by too much togetherness.

Sometimes it can become stifling when it's just the two of you every day, with no other outlets.

Well anyway, having a short break apart, can't hurt anything.

Although one week isn't very long really, especially if you are waiting to hear those lovely words - "I Love You."

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