A
female
age
30-35,
*o_n64
writes:There's this male acquaintance I have, who I saw yesterday and the day before. On Sunday he visited the store my sister and I own and we all chatted for a while, a little over an hour. Before he left, my sister hugged him goodbye. She's normally considered to be the more outgoing and I guess likable one, of the two of us. I'm always in the background, shy, unsure of myself, and although I'm kind, I know I'm considered distant/cold at times. I'm desperate to break out of my shell and change, hence I said I wanted a hug too (to be polite)so he hugged me. Upon running into him yesterday at a convention, he held out his arms to hug me. I was a little surprised but hugged him back. HOWEVER each time we've hugged so far I've noticed he'll hug me tightly and I always have to pull away first, and then he'll end the hug by sliding his hand down my arm. Yesterday when he did this including the whole sliding his hand down my arm, in front of his girlfriend I felt sort of awkward, and uncomfortable and instinctively pulled my arm away. I tried to be friendly to his gf afterwards, but she didn't say hi to me when I said hi. She just stood there even when I complimented her. It was all very awkward. Am I looking too far into this? Is this just how some guys hug for no reason? What should I do about next time? I can't turn down hugs, because I find it rude. Even when someone I don't care much for asks for a hug, I'll hug them.Still I feel like maybe we should stop hugging, or at least hug differently from now on. But I'm too scared to tell him. I mean, it's my fault in the first place that we hug now. Please give me some advice. Thank you.
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female
reader, Jo_n64 +, writes (8 November 2012):
Jo_n64 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm not interested in dating him myself. He's attractive yes, but not my type personality-wise. Plus he's in a relationship. I'm not looking too far into this. I feel uncomfortable with the way he hugs me, and I've received many hugs in the past from guys who were interested in me and girls. None have purposely slid their hand down my arm, or given me lingering hugs. I feel like he's doing something inappropriate and would like it to stop. Trust me I'm NOT flattering myself. -_-
more responses would be great.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2012): You are looking too far into this, yes. Just respond with a polite hug and remind yourself if he wanted to be dating you, he would be.
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