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male
age
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anonymous
writes:Wife having an affairThis went on for a year and i didnt know. she said no condoms were used. That was it , I left. I got tested and no std's. she wants me back but all that goes through my mind was his fluids. I know after sex they leak out of her and I remember all the oral i would give her and im grossed out by that. Std test was neg so please tell me if his dna or anything else is absorbed into her body. Is a part of him now a part of her now? thank you.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2011): I am just now 5 months past this. We have 2 kids together. Women cheat mostly because of emotional issues, unlike us men. You HAVE TO GO TO COUNSELING or this cannot work!!!
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male
reader, Starmonster888  +, writes (14 April 2011):
 Leave her.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2011): I agree with everyone else. Forget the fluids and forget ever getting back with her.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2011): bodily fluids are not the main issue hereit is whether you can get past her affairand i think you CANNOTso instead of dragging this out anymore kick her sorry butt out and move on to someone more faithful.in essense that is the real issue: forgive and work on the marriage, or if unable to work throught his nightmare, head for the courts.LoveGirl
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2011): Forget the fluids- that's passed. Your question is do you love her? If you can't get past her getting banged by some guy and coming home to you- then tell her no way and move on!
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2011): Id be pretty pissed. Im very sorry about this man. You deserve much better and she doesnt deserve you. This is horrible. All trust has been broken and I wouldnt take the emotional roller coaster to even try to fix it. This is awful and I see an end to this relationship and marriage as she did something so heartless to you and for a year, not one time or two, but for a whole year!! Where is her conscience! She has none. Get out of this, recover, and drop me a message any time for support. This is bulls*it and I will help you thru it. My best your way pal.
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female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (13 April 2011):
 I think your problems are more than just whether or not you might catch an STD (don't forget HIV). You have an unfaithful spouse. Until you understand why she cheated and get her to agree to attend counseling with you, there are no guarantees she won't do it again. She is looking for something and unless she's willing to work on her marriage with you; you should probably file for divorce before it happens again.
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male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (13 April 2011):
You have to test HIV 6 months after first suspicious contact with her. The screening test can't tell if you are infected if you haven't been for longer than six months.
About the woman who cheated on you for a year, what could you possible do with her, other than divorce her.
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (13 April 2011):
 I don't think any part of him is still with her.
I understand you left her already. Like others said, it seems you haven't forgiven this. If that is the case indeed, I think you shouldn't go back to her.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2011): First, you got tested for STD's, that doesn't mean that she wasn't infected. She needs to get tested, and if she only recently ended the affair, she will need to have repeated testing for HIV and Hep C and Hep B, as well as syphilis, after a period of time. She could be infected but below the detection threshold if the infection was recent.Why does she want you back?That is important.Why did she have the affair?That is important.You should not get back together with her without professional help. Understand that you probably only know the tip of the iceberg at this point, a good counselor will help get to the bottom of the entire thing. Be prepared for shock and surprise and lies and refusals to answer.Read some books on affairs, it will help you understand that the affair is not about you, it is about her.People who have marriages and have issues with each other, that cause the marriage to fail leave each other, then go on with their lives. That is not cheating, both people have equal opportunity. People who cheat have internal issues that cause their marriages to fail, that is why they cheat, they don't give their marital partner equal opportunity and often don't want to admit that they have been as unfair as they have been. Instead, the try to refocus the issue on the faithful partner. This is usually not malicious, they just don't get their own behavior or are so ashamed that they can't deal with it.Get professional help. Suggested reading below.http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Past-Affair-Program-Together/dp/157230801Xhttp://www.amazon.com/Not-Just-Friends-Rebuilding-Recovering/dp/0743225503http://www.amazon.com/After-Affair-Healing-Rebuilding-Unfaithful/dp/0060928174
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (13 April 2011):
 The only way any of him would be in her body is if he got her pregnant. Bodily fluids were exchanged, but pass out of the system within days. Sperm only live up to a limited amount of time (2-3 days).
You can't get past the fact that she cheated on you, unprotected sex at that. To you this seems like an unforgivable act in which you should seek divorce. If there is a small part of you that wants her back then you're going to have to go through some marriage counseling in order to get past her infidelity.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2011): No... he's not a part of her. Except maybe emotionally.
Yeah, fluids leak out. That's called gravity, bud.
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female
reader, feelingsputtogether +, writes (12 April 2011):
 Nothing he "put in" was left behind. But before you get back with her you have to ask yourself if you have forgiven her for what she did? Also think of it this way before you married had she already been with someone else? If so why weren't you grossed out then. I can relate to the fact that when your with her you think of the other person and images of the two pop up in your head. I myself went through that. My husband cheated early in our marriage. I too had those thought but what was important was the fact that I was putting that aside and trying to make it work and forgave him for cheating on me. Plus he and I had been with other people before we met and married. At the end it comes down to, how much you love her (if there is any love left) and if you have forgiven her for cheating on you. If you have not forgiven her then why even bother in getting back together becuase with every fight or argument you hold with her the first thing that will come up will be her cheating and you're just going to be living in hell. So don't put yourself or her in that situation. Hope all goes well for you and for her.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2011): hey,
Don't get back with her, she will just end up doing it again, you deserve someone who won't do that... and once a cheater always a cheater.. tell her where to go and find someone else.
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