A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been talking to a girl long distance for over a year now. We talk on the phone everyday for over an hour a day. She's mentioned she likes me but she doesn't know what it means. She also says she kind of dating someone.So I flew to go meet her and she stood me up after knowing I flew 3000 miles to see her.Why did she stand me up and is it worth it to keep talking to her.
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female
reader, ElectricSheep +, writes (15 October 2010):
 Well in that case, I'm sorry she stood you up like that. She might have gotten nervous last second and decided to bail out. Some people like the comfort of the internet and might not be so willing to finally show themselves.
Has she contacted you after what happened?
I would say to forget this girl. She obviously didn't place much importance on you that she ignored you in this way.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2010): She agreed to meet before I went out there. I had set the plans well in advance. We talked the day of our meeting and she said she would call me when she was driving to meet me.
Our meeting was only semi intimate. We were meeting as friends and to discuss what everything meant.
And I emphasized the number of miles because I wanted to leave the cities out of the equation. I could have just said I flew across the country.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (14 October 2010):
 Because she is a bitch.
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A
female
reader, ElectricSheep +, writes (14 October 2010):
Did you ask her if she wanted to meet BEFORE you flew out? Did she say yes/no? If she said yes then stood you up, only then does she deserve blame. But if she had said no and you still flew out to see her, then the blame is solely on you. If she stood you up after you told her THE DAY you arrived in her country/city, then it's understandable why she chose not to meet.
She told you she's with someone currently, so maybe she wanted to remain only as online friends with you.
Like one poster said, try to make the best out of your trip (in a way that doesn't involve her) if you're still away from home. You might want to discuss what happened after you go home, but I wouldn't contact her before then.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2010): Re-read Aunty BimBim's answer! When a girl tells you she's kinda dating someone that means she kinda doesn't want to see you. Too bad you wasted your trip, make the best of it if you can and make sure you tell her you got the message and you won't be emailing her anymore. She'll probably let out a big sign of relief. Plus, remember people write things differently than they would normally say them, it's freer and less commitment involved. So, she probably led you on knowing you were 3000 miles away and wasn't ever expecting you to fly to her. Sorry dude.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 October 2010):
 How far exactly is 3000 miles in this case? I worry about how you emphasize the exact number of miles here... As if you feel you sacrificed something for her and she better come and obey you.. Which I don't like. But I could be wrong and that you are just upset.
Did you fly outside of your country? Outside of your continent? Are you still in an english-speaking nation or did you end up all alone in a country where no one understands you? For how long are you staying? What are you doing now that she stood you up?
Did you and this girl agree to meet? Did she tell you she would meet you, or did you fly out to her not knowing if she was actually going to show up?
The information you have given tells me this: you are only concerned about yourself and fail to respect her interests, she told you she likes you but is unsure, she told you she is seeing someone else which means she is unavailable. You still proceed to fly out to her to meet her. With or against her will, I don't know.
The reason she stood you up though, in either case, is simple: she isn't interested in you in that way, and probably didn't want you to come. Unless, of course, there was an accident that kept her away.
I really would need more information though before I can offer any explanation or advice.
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A
male
reader, Ricemonster  +, writes (14 October 2010):
 I am going to assume you've seen her in video/pictures. A few possibilities:1) Someone stood me up after I flew from Vancouver to Hong Kong because she told me she was scared of seeing me, even though she really wanted to. After I left HK, she told me she was afraid that she didn't live up to my expectations. To me, it was a silly notion, but to her, she had all sorts of negative thoughts running through her head at the time.2) Another reason could be that the relationship became serious enough with the person she is/was dating.3) If you haven't seen her recently, then maybe she became 'ugly' from her perspective.4) Too much pressure to face at the moment and require more time to sort it out on her own.5) She might not actually think of you that intimately.6) She might be some form of past relationship (still).-----You see, there are so many variables to this. We don't know what you two talk about and whether your perception of her is accurate.Should you continue? Well, the "worth" is totally dependent on you. You know her much more than any of us do. What do you think?
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (14 October 2010):
 She stood you up because she is kind of dating someone. You didn't read between the lines or hear the implied message.
Why would you continue talking to her when she stood you up after flying 3000 miles to meet her?
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