A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend and i started dating our sophomore year in high school. everything was going great. our senior year, we experienced more problems as we both were leaving to attend different colleges come this fall. we were aware it was going to be a challenge, what long distance relationship isn't? we weren't going to throw away a 3-year relationship just because of the distance so we agreed we would work through the differences and face any obstacles to make the relationship work.once he got to college, everything changed. he wasn't willing to communicate on the phone as much. i understood he had to adjust and make new friends but he never set time aside for us to focus on one another. he would always be doing something while on the phone with me - whether it was watching tv, listening to music, going on the computer... he never set time aside.things got pretty bad the first month into college. we ended up breaking up because he said things didn't feel the same, especially when we talked on the phone. so i ended things, mailed the promise ring he gave me and didn't hear from him. why would i wear a ring from a boy who promised me forever then left for college and lost feelings?3 weeks later, he texted me saying he missed me and how he couldn't live without me, he was so sorry about what he put me through.. so what did i do? give him a second chance.this past week, he told me he had kissed another girl during the three weeks we weren't together. he kept reasoning it was because we weren't together and the kiss meant nothing but in the time we were apart, i never came close to being with another guy and had the utmost respect and hope that we would be with each other again. hope is what kept me alive. i'm heartbroken and wish he didn't put himself out there immediately after we broke up. he never said this but it's almost as if he put himself out there for that girl and when she realized she didn't want to be with him, he came running back to me. what should i do?
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female
reader, uganut86 +, writes (7 November 2008):
 I have been in the same place as you. I was with my college b/f for 4 years and when we graduated the same thing happened to us. We worked through our problems and now we are getting married in two weeks. Just give it sometime things will work out if it is meant to be.
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (7 November 2008):
 The end of high school, the beginning of university and the end of university are all HUGE transitions, and from what I've observed, a lot of relationships change at those times of life. I think that I agree with Star 07 that you should try to leave things as they were. It sounds like he is wavering, and that is just causing you heartache and problems. You should be testing your own wings now that you are in a new school. I'd leave the relationship as friends, and concentrate on yourself.
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A
female
reader, Star_07 +, writes (7 November 2008):
 I think you should move on. You are right, long distance relationships are hard but is it worth it?
So you had a really great relationship in high school. Would you rather remember that or the pain you are feeling now after he kissed someone else? I think you should cut the romantic ties. Maybe you could email each other or stay friends but I think that you two have a lot to go through, learn, and develop and being in college is an opportunity that you will learn greatly from. Dont put the added stress of a relationship that has a high risk of breaking up. Move on girl and enjoy your time in college!
Good Luck!
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