A
female
age
36-40,
*esiderius
writes:My boyfriend wants me to have an abortion because we are still young, and his mother does not approve of a girl who is not married to have a second child. I am confused whether he loves me or not, why does he want me to do abortion?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009): I don't think it's a matter of him not loving you. I'm sure he does! Children are blessings but I think it's important to realize the stress that not only comes with one child but having two. And since he already doesn't want to have the child more than likely the obligation will fall solely on you to care for both of them. Keep in mind it's not really his decision you have to decide whether or not keeping this child is right for you. Talk to him, let him know you have issues with abortion and him wanting you to have one. I know this is super hard because whatever you decide will ultimately change your life and you certainly have a lot of soul searching to do, but do just that and the right choice will come to you make sure you will be able to live with your decision for the rest of your life. Good luck everything will work out for the best:)
A
male
reader, Ifyoudontmind  +, writes (6 October 2009):
I was almost an abortion as a child, and obviously I am greatful for being here. Its not a question of does he love you, its a fear of acceptance, you know, if your own parents dissaprove of you, thats a lot to swallow you know?I would say, ask him with all negative aspects aside, what would he want. If he says to terminate the pregnancy, and if you want the pregnancy, maybe he isnt the right guy. I wish you all the luck in the world though-iydm
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A
female
reader, jaundice  +, writes (6 October 2009):
Hunny, You shouldn't even worry about whether he loves you or not and why he wants you to have an abortion, only he and god knows the answer to those questions. What your main concern is what you are going to do, the mother and your partner are not going to have to go through the abortion You are. It is your body, your feelings, don't let anybody force you or persuade you to have an abortion because when the dirt is done, there is no turning back. Also don't be afraid to be on your own and and to raise the child on your own. I had an abortion because my father and partner wanted me to. I went mad (literally) they put me in a mental home as I was trying to kill myself and slashing my wrists nearly everyday. I would collect baby dollys and think they were the child that I lost, I'm telling you I would hide under the bed and cry all day. I had a name for the child and had a bracelet for the child. Don't end up like me, forget about them. If they loved you they would support you no matter what decision you made. 9 years down the line I still hate my date and my ex and I have never been happy since.
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A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (6 October 2009):
 You already have another kid? Who is the father of the first child? Anyway, the decision of having an abortion doesn't really fall on your boyfriend (though his input is important), it's on you. You are the one that is going to have to suffer the consequences of either action. Why would he want you to have an abortion? There are many reasons. He'd feel tied down with a child of his own. He will have this being for the rest of his life that relies on him. Having a baby changes everyone's life dramatically. If you and him every split, then there will be this kid that he will always come back to, even if he gets married to some other woman. It's nothing to do with you, it's just his opinion.
The sign that he loves you is that he respects your opinion no matter what you choose to do. He tells you his opinion, but adheres to yours, and grits his teeth and bears it. I mean it is half way his fault that you got pregnant, isn't it? So if you don't want an abortion, perhaps compromise and put it up for adoption? There are other alternatives to what he wants. Don't be intimidated by him though, because it's your body, and you have to deal with everything that might happen. All the best!
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