A
female
age
30-35,
*arasu10
writes:im in a very complicated situation with my ex boyfriend. we are having a baby together. the baby is due in february. and right now we are trying to rekindle our relationship. right now, it feels that we're only doing that for the baby, which isnt a bad thing, but at the same time it is cuz me and him wont be together for each other. anyways, recently he suggested that we keep working on us, but at the same time try to date other people to see if me and him are really meant. i mean at first i had a problem with it cuz i cant imagine him with anybody else, but i finally agreed after many tears and so much stubbornness. right now that little agreement doesnt bother me at all anymore. what does bother me though is that i put so much effort into trying to make this work. i am affectionate with him, i do favors for him, i've been opening up to him more than i ever have, and he doesnt appreciate it at all. im only 18 and i have been working on myself and i just consider him my "side project", so im not obsessed or anything. lol. but when i catch myself thinking about the situation i just break out into tears cuz he says he loves me so much and that he cares about me, but why does he put me through all this hurt?i just wanna be with him, and i know it, but he says he doesnt know. i dont know what to do anymore. ive run out of ideas on how to make it all better. and i do have to admit that when we lived together i was a bitch. i treated him like crap because i had family problems and i took it out on him, but i realized my mistake, and i honestly cannot see myself being like that with him ever again. thats what hes scared of. how can i show him that i wont hurt him again? like im seriously drawing a blank on this whole twisted situation. please help me!!!!id prefer the male point of view, but i dont mind female feedback. any advice helps in this crisis! thanks so much!
View related questions:
my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, jaundice  +, writes (6 October 2009):
Put it this way,when he says he loves and cares for you-might be the truth. This is not the same as being in love with you though. If he was in love with you he would never ever ever allow you or suggest you to be with someone else. At the moment he is hurt and can't put all his trust and commitment in the relationship again due to him being hurt previously. He isn't ready to let you go but is just exploring to see if there is better and to see if there is someone else to make him happy.Just be yourself, give it time, don't over do things,if it was meant to be he will always come back. You shouldn't really be dating whilst being pregnant, as it complicates things just concentrate on you and the baby.
|
