A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi all now I really need your help. My ex's birthday is in a week's time and I don't know if I should wish him a Happy Birthday or not. I was planning to maybe send him a Facebook message and wish him. We broke up around 10 months ago, but we had remained in contact for 5 months following the breakup. However, one of the days, I just felt like I couldn't deal with us being 'friends' and with me having to listen to him talk about other girls and stuff. So I stopped replying to his messages and I told him I couldn't deal with us being 'friends', and although he was upset, he said he respected my decision and he stopped looking me up and we hadn't been talking for close to 5 months now. He did wish me on my birthday after the breakup but that was before I told him to stop looking me up.So I'm just torn apart between whether I should wish him or not. I don't want anything from him. I don't know if he has moved on or if he has a new girlfriend, or if he is expecting my birthday wish, but I certainly don't want him to get the idea that i want us back together. I'm also not sure if I want us to be friends. I just want him to know that I didn't forget his birthday and that I'm not a complete asshole. That's all. I'm just so confused right now. After so long of disappearing from his life, wouldn't it be weird to just pop out of nowhere and say, "Hi, Happy Birthday!"? I don't know guys. What the hell should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for replying! It really helps and I'm very grateful to all of you. Thanks so much. :)
A
female
reader, romany  +, writes (17 November 2010):
 I dont think your going to look an asshole or rude if you dont, If I were him, I wouldn't be expecting it from you.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (17 November 2010):
 There is no need to say happy birthday, you are no longer in touch with each other so it would seem odd to suddenly contact him on his birthday.
Your not friends, your not dating, you have no intention of getting back together - therefore no reason to contact him. Dont worry about what he thinks of you anymore, it is not important. You have done very well to move on and not speak to him for 5 months, so keep it up and dont muddy the waters now by getting back in touch.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello, thanks very much for taking your time to reply.
You know what? I think you're right. You're absolutely right. I shouldn't be worrying about what he feels about my birthday wishes or what he feels about me NOT wishing him on his birthday. And if I do not want to be friends with him in the future, why should I even bother letting him know that I have not forgotten his birthday? Right?
Haha, wow thanks for your reply, seriously. I would never have looked at things this way!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 November 2010):
 I don't see why he should think you are a complete asshole if you don't wish him Happy Birthday. You told him that you could not deal with being friends, he told you he understand and respects you your decision, end of the story.
He did send you his birthday wishes, but that was BEFORE you decided to part ways definitively.
Question : why do you want him to know you have not forgotten his birthday ?
After 10 months, should you not at least start moving on , rather than worrying about what he feels about your birthday wishes or lack of the same ?
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