A
female
age
41-50,
*upidlover89
writes:Hello, I just need opinions on this subject. Let me give a little info on my situation. I am seeing a man, and we have decided to just be friends with benefits. We have dated in the beginning and when a relationship was brought up he stated that he was not ready for one, and did not have the time. So after thinking things through I decided the friendship was okay with me, and it really is. I am very honest with him, and do not feel I have to hide things. We talk about a lot with eachother including the idea that I will be dating other men. I mentioned to him that I was going on a date with another man. He proceeded to text and question for most of the night that I was on this date. I would like to know why a man would want to be just friends? Why a man would appear jealous if you are with someone else, even though they do not want to be with you? It seems like he is chasing a little more since I have been doing my own thing, and not questioning him about his personal life. Also if we do meet up and I am dressed up, he questions why I am dresses up, and where I have been...why care so much?
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friend with benefits, jealous, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 December 2011):
 because even if he does not want you he wants no one else to have you...
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (5 December 2011):
 While FWB arrangements often, initially, begin as balanced arrangements.... I believe it's very common that one of the participants (It seems to be the woman, more commonly) is more inclined to believe that the FWB is - or will become - something more akin to a romantic relationship.In your case, it "sounds" like your FWB man believes that your (your's and his) FWB entitles him to be jealous as he would be if you and he had a more-traditional arrangement.Based on THAT, I would suggest that you and he need to talk and clarify the "rules" that apply to YOUR FWB...Good luck....
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx  +, writes (5 December 2011):
 Just because he doesn't want a relationship doesn't mean he does not have feelings for you.He could have turned down a relationship, because he said he didn't have time for one, and maybe at that time it was just not convenient for him. However that doesn't mean he doesn't have any feelings for you.Personally i think that the most likely solution, was that maybe he didn't think that he had any feelings for you, but since you have been dating other men he has realized that maybe his feelings run deeper that just fwbs.Or as chocoholicforever said, it could be that he was planning to hold you back for when a relationship was convenient for him, that's another likely solution. You could talk to him about it, as it's obvious that he is coming across jealous, then there is something more there, even if he isn't willing to admit it.
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A
female
reader, bluecow +, writes (5 December 2011):
 it could be any number of reasons..He is afraid to lose his "booty call", when you begin a relationship with another man.He is afraid to lose you... perhaps his feelings for you have changed and he now wants a relationship.Perhaps he values your friendship (rather than the sex) so much, and is afraid if you get into a relationship with someone else, you will no longer be able to be friends. Not many men like the idea of the "ex shag buddy" hanging around... not so early on anyway.
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A
female
reader, chocoholicforever +, writes (5 December 2011):
maybe he is in fact jealous because he has been keeping you as a back up for when he does want to have a relationship, so now that you're seeing someone else it's robbing him of his back up plan.
or, maybe he doesn't like that you're seeing someone because that would probably mean the end of the FWB situation which he currently enjoys, so he stands to lose something even though he doesn't want to have a real relationship with you.
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