A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy at a bar a few weekends ago and we ended up making out. I went back to his place but I told him I didn't want to have sex (I'm not opposed to one night stands but I had my period and I don't like having sex until it's over). He was fine with that and we just made out some more and he walked me back to my place and got my number. He seemed interested and was texting me the next few days just making very small talk but sometimes he'd take a long time to respond to texts. We couldn't find time to talk because we both had busy work schedules. Finally I called him the following Thursday night and we talked for a good 20 minutes and he still seemed interested. I mentioned in small talk that my tv had no channels and he said "are you trying to get me to invite you over?" I said no and he said I'm invited if I want to. I said I'd think about it. He said he needed to call his boss and would call me back in 10 minutes but then an hour later didn't call or message me so I just texted asking if he was awake but then he gave no response and hasn't since. Now I know that obviously means he isn't interested but I just don't understand why he invited me over if he wasn't interested or how he lost interest THAT quickly. I don't see what I could have done to make him lose interest so fast because if he was just looking for a one night stand (which I'll never know because he never got to the point of telling me what he was looking for) then why did he ignore me? Does it mean he wasn't attracted to me? Why do guys think it's normal behaviour to just drop off the face of the earth? If he wasn't interested he could have at least finished the conversation and NOT INVITED ME OVER IN THE FIRST PLACE. So it isn't really a problem because I know there isn't anything for me to do about it and I'm probably never going to see him again. I'm just wondering why a guy would do this. Any opinions?
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one night stand, period, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, learnNlive  +, writes (9 December 2012):
Girls do that too. Think he either was upset at something you said or did or the way you acted or he just wanted more but you didn't offer :-D.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2012): Over the years I learned not to put huge emphasis on a anyone's behavior in a beginning doesn't mTter how nice they are with me. ESPECIALLY when it comes to men and involves some romantic situation.
I had PLENTY of situations with guys when initially they act like they are in love with you and then next time you see them they don't even remember your face.Literally!! I visit my Dad twice a year, he lives in another state.
I go to one of the bars with nice ambience there for a drink everytime I visit. One of my visits I started talking to a guy, and we ALMOST ended up in bed. He was gorgeous, smart, funny and seemingly very much interested. As I remember the only reason why we didn't do it, because I Had my period also.
That was one nite with chatting, kisses and more kisses.
He texted to me all night keeping me awake half a nite. Then it was my birthday in a day, he knew about it, no happy birthday phone calls. Ok. When we parted we agreed to meet up in 2 days. So the day came, no texts from him, nothing. I m being pretty much bored in a town where I hardly had any friends, texted him first. He said he was busy and and he couldn't make it. Basically, my text to him was an invitation for sex. He knew I m not from this city, that I'm just visiting, and he knew what my intentions were toward him.
And he couldn't care less. I met him again 1 year later when again I visited my dad. I recognized him, but he didn't pay any attention to me. When we were in a close distance to each other, I said to him just out of having fun, I think I know you from somewhere, and he said, you need to refresh my memory:).
Situations like that were happening so often to me, that after years of trying to understand what's going on with these guys I finally gave up and stoped reacting and even think twice about it.
What I figured out is how not to put myself in a situation where I would care about any man behavior.
If I don't see an obvious interest in me which is signified by asking me out and some courtship, I don't take any initiative in texting or calling a guy. What i discovered if they want to see a woman, they do make an effort for this to happen, and if they don't want to make an effort then I don't need them.
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A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (9 December 2012):
 Hi
Maybe he has a girlfriend or a FWB, the call he to his boss could have in fact been a call to THEM to see their availability.
When you rang him he probably thought 'wahey I am in here' and asked you round, but then you said you would *think* about coming over, so you weren't a 100% sure.He then lost interest.
He isn't worth worrying about to be honest.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 December 2012):
 If a guy takes you home from a bar, it does not mean he is " interested " , as in curious to get to know you better, it may also just be that he finds you fuckable material- if it happens soon, and does not take too much effort, contact and complications.
Quite simply, he was, and probably is ( he could resurface anytime if you let him ), a bit interested ...but not that much . Not even to the point of being corteous, because if you get upset with him, hey who cares, plenty of chicks that can give him the very same thing as you.
I agree that his vanishing act was rude and arrogant, but that's the problem with one night stands : if they are willing and ready, that does not mean that they are also chivalrous gentlemen.
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