A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in college. Over the summer I was at home and started talking to this girl online, who also lives in the area. We had common friends and began talking for hours every night. I had very strong feelings for her but she was reluctant because for the past two years, she was hopelessly in love with a good friend of mine. Who didn't share those feelings. She told me all about it and how hurtful he was, and I told her that she deserved more and how I felt about her. Then I went away to college. She said she had feelings for me too, but didn't want to risk hurting me because of her feelings for our friend. Eventually, we ended up dating despite that. It hurt to know she had feelings for him still, but we both loved each other. She went away to her college for her freshmen year and at first hated it. After a couple months, she stopped talking to me as much, and when I went to visit, she would be distant for at least a day. She's good friends with someone that she says reminds her of the guy that she was in love with and she told me that he likes her. She repeatedly tells me that I have nothing to worry about and she'd never hurt me, but I found out through friends, that she has feelings for this guy too. She's also been talking about how she thinks we need to ease off of our relationship. That she loves me and wants to grow old with me, but she doesn't think she can date me right now. I understand that, but I can't let it end because I don't want her to be free to fall in love with that guy at her college. I feel like maybe she's just confused because I'm so far away and so are her best friends from high school and she just needs somebody. I don't know if I should tell her that I know, or if I should break up with her, or if we should separate with the intention of getting back together, or if I should just try and wait it out and hope for the best.
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female
reader, Warm-Inspire  +, writes (13 December 2012):
 I think you should be upfront and honest about what you know, do NOT wait it out when you don't know what the outcome could be.Just a thought, if she fell in love with you while being in love with an ex, whats to say this isn't happening with her and her new friend?It might just be personal preference but if i need someone to talk to, the first person i go to is my boyfriend, not another man.If you have the rumor that shes seeing this guy as more than a friend that coincidently reminds her of an ex that she may or may not be still in love with, shes being distant and shes trying to get out of your relationship, it should be evident enough that you need to set her and yourself free.Lastly,Just ask yourself if you'd rather her fall in love with another guy while shes with you, or without you.Best of luck.x
A
male
reader, learnNlive +, writes (9 December 2012):
You could share her.
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