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female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes: 15 year old girl. I met this guy and he's really awesome in all the right ways. When I met him I was all done up. He tells me not to wear makeup. He allows me to get my brows done and straighten my hair but I wore a little bit of makeup on a date (mascara and shaded brows) and he got really mad. The first thing he said was "you're wearing makeup". I absolutely love makeup tho. It makes me feel so much better. I can't tell if he's insecure and doesn't want me looking god or if he just likes natural beauty and is stubborn. Help what should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2016): He is also my age btw! Thank you so much for all the advice!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2016): He got mad because you put make-up on and he "allows" you do your brows/hair?
How old is this boyfriend of your??
You need to tell him in no uncertain terms that you will not be controlled in this manner and if putting make-up makes him angry, in the future I wonder what else you do will that will make him angry?
His behavior has some warning signs and red flags. Best you look for a different boyfriend
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (9 July 2016):
 He ALLOWS you?
No, no, no, girl. A BF is NOT the boss of you, he is NOT your parent either and it's CERTAINLY not up to him to decide if you can wear make up or not.
If make up makes YOU feel good about yourself, What in the WORLD is his problem then?
So in essence he wants YOU to feel LESS good about yourself? I could understand if he told you he thought you look better without a lot of make-up, but telling you what you can and can not put on your face? Heck no!
When you two first met did you wear make-up? If the answer is yes, then HOW is it HIS right to tell you to not wear any? *hint* it's not! He liked you "enough" with make-up to ask you out, right?
Your age has little to do with it. I have seen high-schoolers with better done make-up than the average adult. I have also seen some with atrocious make-up... but hey it's a time for experimenting with things like make-up and finding your own personal style. What girl haven't?
And OP, first he will try and control the make-up, then your clothes (you can't wear that tight red dress or the short black skirt...), you can't do you hair like that! You can't to to other boys, you can't be friends with those girls... the list goes on.
Sorry, I'd dump him and BE who you are. You are NOT defined by your make-up, NOR the demands of a boy.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (9 July 2016):
 It's nice when a guy says "I prefer you without makeup", but he should *not* be able to "allow" or "disallow" you to do it.
This guy is being controlling, how old is he? Dump him.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 July 2016):
 You should be yourself and keep doing whatever you choose to do according to your own preferences and fashion sense.
Also considering that from what you say your make up is sober and discreet , and you are not inadvertently making yourself look like a sideshow freak or into a hooker on the prowl , in which case a constructive crticism might be warranted.
Maybe he is insecure and thinks the less paint you wear the less male attention you are likely to attract- but that it's HIS problem, do not make it yours.
Or maybe he simply is a fan of totally natural beauty and that's his ideal type in women- in which case, he chanced into the wrong girl.
If he really likes you, he can accept how you are and how you want to look. I bet that if he is dark - haired and you prefer blondes , or viceversa, you would not badger him to go right away to the salon to get his hair dyed , would you ?
Do not yield about this. It seems such a small thing, why arguing about a stupid lipstick, right ?
Wrong. It starts with the lipstick and then it's your skirt hem and then it spills over to your friends, your hobbies, what you drink, eat, read,... everything.
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A
female
reader, jls022 +, writes (9 July 2016):
Dump him immediately! It doesn't matter why he doesn't want you to wear make up, he's trying to change you and control your behaviour and that's NEVER ok. Next it will be your clothes and your friends he's trying to control. You wear make up for you because it makes you feel good, so that's what you should keep doing. Excuse my language but to hell with him! You should learn now at this young age that you will find guys like this all throughout your life, and the only way to deal with it is to say 'thanks but no thanks' and move on to the next. Trust me OP, they will never get better.
I'm sorry but I wholeheartedly disagree that this is a time to compromise. Anyone who gets mad at you for being yourself is NOT a keeper. The person you are with should love you for you, not the you they would like if they could only change x, y or z. I bet he wouldn't like it if you tried to change him, so don't let him do it to you.
Ok rant over! Sorry men like this really get me mad!
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle +, writes (9 July 2016):
If this guy is "telling" you or "allowing" you to do (or not do) certain things, then he is controlling and you should get rid of him ASAP.
No-one's partner should dictate to them like this or "get mad" if their partner doesn't share their views and you shouldn't stand for it. It's a red flag for a partner to potentially become abusive.
Even if he simply prefers girls to look natural, YOU love make-up, so you and this guy are incompatible.
Best advice I can give you is to leave the relationship now.
How old is he BTW?
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (9 July 2016):
 I think compromise is called for here. At your age you shouldn't need make up unless you have a difficult complexion. It is fun to look a bit older than you really are but too much can make you look slutty. Always go for natural if you can. Not only is it the most beautiful but it is the healthiest too.
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