A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:What would you think if your boyfriend asked you "what do you think things would of been like if you never would of have had your kids?" I have kids from a previous relationship but he's always been great with them, so I was thrown off by that question. Thanks for your input in advance. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (10 July 2016):
 He's just pondering about life. Nothing more.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 July 2016):
 Let me guess? He doesn't have kids, right?
Being as YOUNG as you are, he is wondering what you could have been like or what you might have done instead of becoming a mom. It's not really a strange question and it's not that he thinks you shouldn't have had a child, he is just wondering. Most young people in their teens/early 20's have dreams of what they want to do when they "grow" up.
Let me give you an example - a niece of mine were in the process of joining the Navy, when she got pregnant and she chose to have her child over a career in the Navy.
It is, I would say, comparable to the question - what would you do if you won a million dollars? A what if? situation. Him not having kids himself doesn't really understand that you don't EVER want to feel like you "should" regret your having had child. And he is not telling you to regret it or asking if you are....
So it IS a little insensitive question, but not done in malice, more in curiosity.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you! I ended up talking to him about it and he explained sense my first child was conceived because of rape he didn't want to say what do you think things would of been like if you were never raped so he changed it to if you never had kids. Guess I over think things to much.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 July 2016):
 I would not read anything particular in this question, and most of all not a sign that he has a problem with children, or YOUR children.
Call it idle curiosity , if you wish, but it's simply a very natural question for anybody to ask to ( or to ask themselves about ) someone who at just 18-21 already had at least 2 children. Don't tell me that you never ever ever have wondered the same ?.....
Don't get me wrong- I bet that your kids are your pride and your joy, as they rightly should be. You are not sorry you had having them, and they fill your life.
But of course it would have been a very different life with different choices, different options, different possibilities if you had remained childless. Generally children aren't the best friend of travelling, getting college degrees, developping a career ( as opposed to getting a job ) or just - going out and enjoying yourself ( by which, obviously I do not mean only and necessarily " getting drunk and high on drugs " ) as any young childless girl would do.
I am sure you have noticed how being a young single mother imposes sacrifices and limitations - that your kids may be totally worth them, it's another story.
This type of question may imply a " do you ever have regrets " , a " can you manage allright " or even an admired " wow, how do you cope with all- you are good " .
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (9 July 2016):
 I think your question should be to him. To be honest not many of us took our finals in crystal ball reading so we can't be much help. :-)
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