A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This guy has confused me. We started off as friends. We get along really well together. He is the most caring man I ever met. Gradually, I felt I could see a possibility of a future with him. We are together almost like 24x7, except that we don't sleep together. He goes to great lengths to be with me. He tells me I am special (and he treats me special),says things like his heart is with me. Emotionally we are very close. He cuddles with me a lot, snuggles my neck, nibbles my ear etc. He doesn't have another woman in his life. But if I ask him about some female friend, he responds by saying he doesn't see why he should even have to explain that to me, coz friends are not expected to give an explaination to each other. Is he kidding me? I feel so let down. Plz help me understand the situation. Whats happening here ? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, KaileyLove  +, writes (7 May 2010):
 REPLY to anonymous:
Well, if you've seen my questions, I have the same problem with one guy. We hang out alot and at the dead of night we end up making out... But we're not dating (although I would LOVE to!) But, regardless, I think some guys just want to keep girls to play with until they can find someone better.
I know it sounds harsh, but that's how I view both of our situations. A guy will find a pretty girl, hug 'em, kiss 'em, make 'em feel important... then when another pretty little girl enters the scene, the other girl will just be a shadow to the guy.
But I feel EXACTLY the same! I often worry if I'm just friends with my guy, or if he wants more. But, I'm trying some new tricks. I often ask, "Why do you hang out with me?" or "On a scale, how would you rate our friendship?" or even "So, if we're 'friends' why are we doing all this?"
Heh, confusing, eh? We should start a club on this situation. Lol.
A
female
reader, togtog  +, writes (1 May 2010):
Maybe he is gay?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2010): Thanks to you all for answering my question ! All of you have said more or less the same thing.
KAILEYLOVE you wrote"But, when I read about the 'friends don't give explanations' that threw me off completely.".....that is precisely how I felt too.
Of course, he was very special to me..I am finding it hard to digest that he never saw anything between us more than friendship....in fact I can't understand why has he been bullshiting me all this time.I have given up a lot for his sake.
From my description of how things were, in my first post ( the question itself) does it seem that we were only friends all this while? Please give your honest opinions everybody. Thanks...
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (30 April 2010):
 It sounds as though he is keeping you at arm's length. Some men like to compartmentalize, that is, not have areas of their life overlap with others. They keep things very separate.
Either he's a very private person or could it be possible that he has something to hide?
He's basically told you that you two are just friends, right?
I'd tread very carefully here and not hand my heart over to him just yet.
Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (30 April 2010):
 Well two things are going on here. One, he calls you a friend. That means he doesn't see you as a girlfriend, and thus, dating another woman is not off limits. Two, it's extremely concerning that he would keep his female friends secret from you. It shouldn't even really cross his mind to tell you to back off from asking unless there was something to hide or you were severely suspicious and interrogating him a lot. He sounds like a player to me, since they always start out as the absolute best boyfriends. They are extremely good at charming women totally off their feet (even the really smart and experienced ones) and making them feel like the most special woman in the world. I'd watch out if I were you.
...............................
A
female
reader, KaileyLove +, writes (30 April 2010):
Umm. Let's see. Here's what I think:
He likes you alot. ALOT! But, he probably doesn't like girls who get jealous easily. I know I don't like guys like that. My ex always used to question who the guys were that I hung out with. If I said that I hung out with my 4 guy friends, he'd bomb me with questions.
But, when I read about the "friends don't give explanations" that threw me off completely.
I think you should confront him and ask what's going on between you two. Y'know? Because if you become more than friends then you have a right to know about those female companions. But, otherwise, if he claims that you're just friends, then I say leave him.
Unless, of course, you find him special too.
...............................
|
