A
male
age
41-50,
*owntomars
writes:This is gonna sound like I'm some jealous macho American asshole, so sorry in advance. I am wondering there is any way to think if my girl has had anal sex before. I realize that I should trust her when she says no, and that love is built on trust. I have trust issues, we both know this. Thing is, this is so hard for me to believe. We had anal a couple of times and each time it wasn't hard at all for me to slide right in there. The second time we had it, I was ALL the way in, all she said was "Wow, are you all the way in?"A point I should bring up is that I am about 8" and very thick. I am not bragging, but I think it is relevant in this case. All I can imagine is that she has had a shitload of anal sex, have any women had experiences that are relevant? I feel so bad for not trusting her, believe me. Help guys. Thanks in advance...
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (29 July 2010):
 Every time I think I've heard it all someone like this comes along and steals the thunder of the last one.... looking for an anal virgin? Why the heck would anyone want to find a gorl that's an anal virgin? If anything you shouyld be thrilled at your luck and marry the girl!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2010): You've been given some good advice, unless you want that venue closed you'd best drop it.
If you bring it up again she has every right to strap on an 8" plastic dong and bury it balls deep up your ass to see if you've had anal sex before...
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A
male
reader, riv +, writes (16 May 2010):
I'm with the others on this: you asked for anal and unlike most women she gave it to you - what's not to like ??Did you use plenty of lube / saliva / a lubricated condom ? ?? That could easily explain the ease with which you got inside. Or maybe she just loves you so much that she is able to trust and totally relax with you doing it to her ?? Sounds like a total keeper to me ! Enjoy !! ( And if she has done it with other men so what ? Haven't you done it with other women ? ) The only thing i would ask from curiosity is : if it is really that easy to get inside her anally is it still tighter than her vagina ? My ( and that of other men i have discussed it with) love of anal derives from the fact that a tight really tight anus which i have to lube and work on for minutes just to be able to get inside just sends my glans penis into paradise when I eventually make it inside.The sensation of the squeeze is like time travel or something !! But if it was in fact looser ( I have never had this experience) than the girl's vag I would prob prefer the vag.. The details of how it works for you ( both) could be instructive.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2010): First, if you are not virgins why does this matter. Second you should count your lucky stars she does it and lastly just because she is relaxed enough to enjoy it does not mean anything. Are you disappointed she was not in pain? It could be she has done it through masturbation it could be that she is just able to relax, anal does not have to be painful. Some woman do it and love it the first time others hate it.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 April 2010):
 Hey, I was about to jump in but see you already have great advice! So I will just say I back up what the others have said in here and I am glad you have come to see things in a different light! Trust is a lot like TimmD said! You have to trust, even if you don't believe. You just have to give in to trusting.
If you have trust issues these wont be solved by everyone running around trying to convince you. I believe trusting is a choice you make. You decide if you will trust or not. Not based on evidence, but trusting just because you do. Like blindfolding yourself and all you can do is trust that you will be safe and taken care of. But that is a choice you must make. And I don't think you can ever truly be happy unless you trust.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (30 April 2010):
 Er, so she consented to anal sex with you, and now you're complaining about it?
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (30 April 2010):
 It's not like breaking a hymen in that after you do it for the first time, she's going to automatically be loose. Everyone's "tightness" is different and for some women anal sex isn't even an issue while some women say it hurts so much they can't even be fingered there. The looseness wouldn't be an indicator of it unless she was literally having so much anal sex that she couldn't control her bowel movements (what happens when you have so much anal sex that you become loose). So unless she can't control her bowel movements, her looseness isn't an indicator at all. Furthermore, there's really no reason for her to lie about something like that. Most women know that most guys find it a turn on if she is into anal sex, so if she'd done it before she'd probably be telling you. Just relax and enjoy it.
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A
male
reader, downtomars +, writes (30 April 2010):
downtomars is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow. Thank you guys. You are so right... it's like faith. I've never thought about the word "trust" like that, taken it apart in that way.
Words of wisdom. Thank you again
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (30 April 2010):
 lol. Each woman is different. From what you've said, there's no reason to automatically think she's had anal sex before. Some women have anal sex somewhat frequently and never get used to it going in and find it painful. Others can do it once every 10 years and it just slides right in.
The thing about trust is, you have to believe her even if you don't believe it. That's what trust is. It would be easy to trust her if you knew the truth yourself... but then technically you wouldn't be trusting her.
Let it go man. She may just love you so much and find you THAT sexy that she just enjoys having all kinds of sex with you. Take is as a compliment and just try to enjoy it...
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (30 April 2010):
 No you can't tell but you can tell that an anus is a talented, elastic organ which can push out shitloads of shit and shrink back to its normal size every time. You can worry all you want, but keep this to yourself or this issue is going to trigger the worst anger in her, or any woman. One time I had to cry because I got so angry with my boyfriend suspecting me. He hugged me and promised me not to bring it up again, and he never did. I was angry because he made himself look like an arrogant, know-it-all bastard. I don't understand you guys. Men always had to beg to have anal sex, when they get it so easily they suspect the women are loosey and easy. You are a lucky guy. If I were your girlfriend and you keep asking me commenting on my anus I would just refuse to have anal sex with you. When women are relaxed, the hole is looser and more stretchable. When she's tense, the hole is tighter.
Even if she had had shitload of anal sex, it's her past and you can imagine what guys had been in her all you want but never talk about that with her, never ask questions and doubt her answers.
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