A
female
age
30-35,
*ethanyAnn16
writes:At the begining of my freshman year I saw the man of my dreams. He's my Spanish teacher, and he's 36. I'm only 16.I can't say this is love because I'm so young, but I've never felt anything like this before. I want to look at him all the time. I wanna talk to him constantly. I just want to look into these brown eyes and just melt.Did I mention he's married, and has two children? A beautiful little girl, and a newborn baby boy.He's married and older. And I KNOW this is wrong, but I just can't stop thinking about him! I wanna' see him sitting on the couch and just watching t.v. with me under his arm. Just comfortable. Just. Love. I have these fantasies to where it's just me and him together. No strings attached. And we're just happy. Just. Bliss.I don't want these feelings! I hate them so much that they make my stomach churn. I don't want to be in love with someone I know I can't have. I've prayed so many times that it's become more of a chant than a prayer. I need help. Is there someone out there who understands this, who has gotten over it, and lives a normal healthy life? All I want to do is to be happy with someone my own age. I want someone I know I can have.It's just..I love him so much. Intellectually and physically. I love the way his hands touch his lips when he's deep in thought about something. I love the way he leans in when people talk about him. I love his smile. I love the way his eyes crinkle up when he does.Help please. Oh God help me. I'm desperate.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2010): Sorry, sweetie, but this doesn't sound like love... this sounds like a crush. Physical attraction doesn't equate love and you barely know this man. You may think you know a lot about him but think on it carefully what do you know that he hasn't told everyone else in the classroom? The information that you have is given freely because it is general or not secretive in any way.
Do you know other things that are general but maybe a little more personal? Like do you know his favorite color? What kinds of toppings does he like on his pizza, assuming he likes it at all? What kind of religion does he practice and does he actively go to church? What is his political stance? Is he a spender or a saver?
These things might seem insignificant but I can guarantee that most people in a serious relationship where they love their partners know most, if not all, of it. Why? Because beyond if someone has blue or green eyes or if they scrunch their eyes when they smile or have dimples these things are factors in what makes a personality.
Sit down and really think about what you know about him and I think you will realize this is not love. It's just a schoolgirl crush and that's okay so long as you don't blow it out of proportion. Eventually you'll find some other guy to crush on or maybe you might even fall in real love.
Think of a crush as window shopping. You're not really going to get serious with him. You're not really wanting to pursue him and destroy his current relationship. You just love certain factors about him that you happen to know. He may have traits that would drive you up the wall but you don't know that because you're just browsing.
And that is okay.
A
female
reader, miszalizeh +, writes (30 April 2010):
 I don't know what to say. I say that it's a good start that you don't want these feelings, but you have to push through them. I think you should try to stay away from him as much as possible. I know it would be hard, but you would have to go "cold-turkey" about it. Shut your mind out from the fantasies. Take up a hobby that would probably help ease your mind off of it. If you have his class, TRY not to look at him. Focus on your work and try to help others. Keep your mind focused on other things besides him. I won't know if it'll work, but just try. That's all I have to say. Good Luck!! I hope this would be good for you.
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