A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend wont go down on me, his never done it before, and says it doesn't appeal to him. so I've stopped giving him oral sex to try and make him but he still won't. what else can I do?
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male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (22 January 2011):
 I agree with the other answerers here. If he isn't going down on you there really isn't much you can do. I am sure there are some things you wouldn't do in bed -- why should it be any different for your boyfriend (personally I think he's being a little selfish in expecting oral from you)?
Ultimately, I think you'll either:
Learn to live without and possibly find a more sexually compatible boyfriend
- or -
Talk to him and ask him why and if there is something you can do to help it be more inviting to him.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, Nime +, writes (20 January 2011):
 I agree with Odds, but do NOT douche. Douching is unnecessary and makes the vagina more susceptible to yeast and other infections, as well as pelvic inflammatory disease which can cause infertility. The vagina has its own means of cleansing itself with mucous secretions. Douching is an old-school philosophy that has been long since proven to be unsafe and unhealthy. If you want to improve your taste and odor down there, the best thing you can do is minimize your sugar intake and eat yogurt every day. Yogurt contains a bacteria called acidophilus that is the same type of good bacteria dwelling in the vagina.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (20 January 2011):
 Well, refusing to give oral is not exactly the best way to make him want to do it for you.
Some guys, it just doesn't appeal to. This is particularly true if you have a past he doesn't approve of. Still, my opinion is that oral from both parties is a requirement in a relationship.
Discuss it with him, politely, non-confrontationally. Tell him that, while you accept his feelings, you don't understand why he would be unwilling to do this for you, and that you believe it's an important part of any sexual relationship. Tell him it's only fair, and that you'd like to please him, too. Tell him that if it wil make him more comfortable, you'll douche it out, and you won't be offended if he has a problem with the smell (he might not, but it's important he sees that he can be honest if it is).
Saying all this, it's vitally important you be understanding, non-confrontational, and polite. Being even a little argumentative or entitled will only make it worse.
If he still says no, you have to decide whether this is a dealbreaker for you.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (20 January 2011):
 Some guys are grossed out about it and good for you for not giving him any till he returns the favour. He may just not want to put the effort into it, I would keep on him about it and see what he gives you as a reason. Chances are if he won't he might not be the one for you. I know something small like oral seems like a selfish thing to break up over but it has to do with your drive to put more into your sex life and I don't think he would keep things even later on.
Other than not giving him any and talking to him there really isn't much else to do.
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