A
female
age
30-35,
*nickerdoodle
writes:Hi, guys. Yet again, another student-teacher situation.So, I'm a sophomore in high school, and I've had this massive crush on my chemistry teacher for a while. It freaked me out a great deal at first because I've never noticed any of my teachers this way--especially not ones his age.I am only fifteen, and he is in his mid forties. He's divorced and is currently single, but he has two kids from his previous marriage, one of whom is older than I am--by seven years! I realize that having a crush on him is bound to go nowhere, but I am impossibly attracted to him, and I'm not sure how to move on. To be completely honest, I actually don't even want to at this point.Sometimes I am very confused, because he gets occasionally flirty with me in class. For instance, he sometimes gives me extra attention, or gets very close when talking to me, which I've noticed he doesn't do with others. He makes eye contact with me even when he's talking to someone else, and I've noticed that though he claims his memory isn't very good, he remembers all the things he's learned about me from conversations we've had and frequently brings them up. Every time I've had to make up work, he's suggested I could come before school, which he also never says to anyone else. I just find this a bit interesting because my understanding is that no one else would be there.But other days, it's almost as if he completely ignores me. He'll act cold and distant and will hardly even look at me or talk to me. Later, he'll switch back to being extremely nice. This is what he's been doing a lot lately, and it's driving me absolutely mad.Recently, I think he picked up on the way I feel about him during class. He moved close to me to grab a stack of papers by my table, and I (involuntarily) jumped when got very near. He definitely noticed, and when he backed away from my table, he paused, turned his head back towards me, and then smiled at me strangely.There's a rumour that he had a relationship with a student a few years ago, and quite frankly, I think there's a big possibility it's true. Now, I think that he realizes I have feelings for him, and by the way he switches from showering me with attention to acting very cold, I think he might even be trying to encourage the crush.What should I do? I know the logical answer here is to just move on, but I've known that was the "right" thing to do for months, and I just can't seem to. I have such strong feelings for him, and the thought of never being with him makes me feel miserable. Do you think it's possible he might like me? I don't plan on pursuing him while we are both in the same school, because I would never want him to jeopardize the career he loves because of me. However, I can't help but think that he may have possibly already jeopardized that career several years ago for someone else, so why should I be any different?I realize that way of thinking is really quite selfish, but this man is all I think about, and I want to be with him more than anything. I would just really like someone else's thoughts on the matter, because I have no one in real life to explain any of this to. Thanks so much.
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crush, divorce, flirt, move on, my teacher Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Snickerdoodle +, writes (22 January 2008):
Snickerdoodle is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you all so much for your feedback. You have no idea how much I appreciate it!
I am really taking all these comments to heart. I guess I still need to sort out all my feelings about this, but in the end, I know it would be incredibly foolish to try and start anything while I am his student.
And Amy--thanks for sharing your situation. (I was stunned by how similar it is!) I'd be happy to message you so we can talk about it.
A
male
reader, yogI_bear_2k2  +, writes (21 January 2008):
Snickerdoodle,I would be extremely careful about this relationship. For a start you are underage. Your teacher would get into serious trouble and posibly go to prison if he got into any relationship with a child (which, under the eyes of the law you still are I am afraid.) You say that he has suggested that you may be "struggling" a bit at school and could get to school early. Perhaps this may be the perfect opportunity to talk to him about your feelings. Just please be carefull!! If he does start touching you (even though its what you may want,) he could get into serious trouble if he gets found out, so its better not to let him jeopardize his and your future. Try to find out his thoughts and feelings about the situation and make sure you are not reading the wrong signals. Anyway, I hope this helps a little bit (and kind of makes sense!) Good luck to you!!Steve
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A
female
reader, Devilish Angel +, writes (21 January 2008):
 At the age of 13-15, I don't think you should get involved with an older man. I understand how you feel but the right thing is the right thing. If its something serious, you can wait a few years and then reciprocate the vibe. If not, you don't want to ruin your life over something like a big crush. I'm 18 and I have a 36 year old boyfriend. It doesn't bother me at all when people say that he's too old for me because age really doesn't matter to me. However, I think you need to mature a bit before you're ready to go and have an older boyfriend.
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A
male
reader, Moviefan +, writes (21 January 2008):
 Actually this is very common for people your age i had a crush on a teacher when i was 14-15 and i can tell just ignore him and do not go in early, and try to start a relationship with a student at your school and once things gett going you will probably forget all about this or atleast have it matter much less to you.
Or you could get removed from the class so you dont have to deal with the teacher. And just keep telling yourself it was wrong and nothing can happen.
I hope i helped.
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A
female
reader, Amy2007x +, writes (21 January 2008):
 Hey, i know exactly how you feel, we are both in the exact position. there was also a rumour about my teacher going out with a student as he was really over too friendly, but he says he didnt but i dno if i believe that. He too also also acts very strange at times, like jsut say for instance on monday at skl he could be all nice to me making conversations, teasin me playfully having a laugh with me and when he sees me sayin ''hello amy'' in a chirpy voice, yet on tuesday or wednesday hell compleltely ignore me and act cold towards me, yet hell start to be nice again on thursday, do u get what im saying? so im a little confused also about that. My teacher is also very different towards me like hell stare at me sumtimes for no reason and when i say to him what? hell jst shake his head and say ''nothing at all'' so im really confused! and he also has two kids who are both older than what i am! and he is married... so?? its jst werid kindda lolin his department im he is always tellin me that i am his favourite student and that im his star pupil, and he said sumthin kindda werid to me the other day acutally, it made me go quite coz i didnt know what to say bk to it, i went all shy around him for liek the first time, my mate was about to sing for him but chickened out (my mate is a guy btw) then the teacher mummbled sumthin under his breathe and walked away but when sum1 brought it to my attention that he said sumthin about me i went after him and said wht did u say?? cmon tell me please?? then he said i said that Marc (my mate) must be inspired my a beautiful girl, like he must have a stunning girls foto like, erm... you? then i jst looked at him and said wht!! ur kiddin on tell me the truth then he said well it went along the lines of ''he must know sumone beautiful like you'' and i didnt know wht to say!! i went all shy!! i am so confused about this guyand seein as were in the same suituation kindda then i cant really tell u if he likes you coz im confused about my teacher also!! so why dont u mail me on this sumtime and we can talk about it privately and try and help each other out Amyxx
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