A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So, I have a profile on a dating website. I found a really interesting guy so I messaged him. We messaged back and forth for a while, until I noticed his relationship status was "unknown". So it turns out he has a girlfriend and is just looking for friends. I think it's wierd because it's mostly a dating website that I found him on. Does anyone really go onto dating sites looking for "just friends"? I'm happy to just be friends, but it seems fishy to me. You always see questions here from women whose partners secretly go onto dating websites and then they say "but I was only looking for friends" etc etc. What do you think, is it possible? Maybe I'm a little cynical.
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (23 July 2009):
 Depends on the site, most contact columns officially are for finding people. Wether that is a penpall, a fuckbuddy, a car-pooler or a partner is up to the people involved.
A
male
reader, Rogerramjet  +, writes (23 July 2009):
Eh, it's possible that he REALLY is just looking for friendship. I've known the odd guy like that.However, i've also known guys who this is one of their strategies for landing women. They play up the whole "Unavailability" thing. Alot of women love the idea of getting what they can't have.I'd be aware, but unless he hits on you... Maybe he REALLY is just looking for friendship.I've run into women on dating websites with the same heading. Just looking for friends.It's odd, to me, but some people are just strange.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2009): Possible? Maybe, maybe not! Only he knows what he really wants. The way I see it is, if he were only looking for friends, then his status should advertise it. In my opinion, his status reveals that he is keeping his options open.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2009): He is probably looking for something that his girlfriend does not give him and it is most likely not sex. Perhaps he wants to get close enough to someone of the opposite sex so that he can comfortably discuss some problem that he has with his girlfriend. There could be many reasons why he is there besides a sexual relationship.
I personally find it much easier to talk to a woman than a man about some relationship problem. I have had a lot of discussions with 2 women on this forum about a problem that I had and we discussed our mutual problems a lot. If my wife were cynical and paranoid she would have accused me of cheating. Instead she joined in the conversation with one of the women to try to understand better and read nearly all of my discussions with the other woman.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (23 July 2009):
 You don't go to the ice cream shop when you are shopping for shoes.
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A
female
reader, alwaysreadyandwilling  +, writes (23 July 2009):
 It could be its being used as a get out clause if they change their mind. Now that takes me back to this woman i met who sent a photo of herself. I went to meet her and her was a he. I ran so fast. It put me off dating for a couple of week,but i learned that a phone conversation before you meet is essential.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2009): No,thats what they say when they are caught. There are websites for friendship only. Dating is just as it says.
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