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Why is this guy so mean to me?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 November 2010) 7 Answers - (Newest, 1 December 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm in a tennis class with him and every time I do something, he criticizes me. I barely even talk to him! I don't even GLANCE in his direction. I'd walk around with my tennis racket, he'd call me a loser. I'd hug my friend and he'd call me gay. I'd do something, he'd calls me a dike. He's calling me all these names and I'm wondering why? Like seriously, I don't even talk to the dude. He's a senior and I'm a sophomore. And I know he's not joking because he's completely serious when he says these things.

I know sometimes I'm easy to pick on but most people, I laugh it off with them and they stop. I tried laughing it off but he keeps going, no matter what. What the heck is his problem?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I'm pretty sure he likes me, as he has a girlfriend, but thanks for the advice. I don't think it will matter much if I tell someone, that'll only result in him making MORE fun of me. Eh, he's graduating soon anyways, I think i can put up with it for a few more months. @American patriot, my abilities aren't up to par with his, so nah. He would own me in a match, lol.

In the end, i'm a pretty outgoing person, all smiles all the time. Thanks everyone :D

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A female reader, americanpatriot United States +, writes (30 November 2010):

americanpatriot agony auntI'm sorry I confused your grade level with his. I thought you were the senior, but anyway the same advice still applies. I hope it helps you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2010):

This man is extremely immature and its his ineffective way of communicating he likes you. Yes, he likes you. This is quite common in my opinion. However, dont show interest which sounds like you havent. He seems like a real jerk. Venus williams would kick his a$$ on and off the court lol. Try to avoid him in class but if he harasses you, do tell the teacher. He shouldnt be calling you names or making fun of you. He needs to extend respect to a lady. Good luck.

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A female reader, americanpatriot United States +, writes (30 November 2010):

americanpatriot agony auntWell, there are a number of reasons. I don't know how well you play tennis, but he could be jealous of your abilities. Did you beat him at a match? Is he treating everyone else this way, or is he just picking on you?

He could be one who wants to see how far he can push you until you explode with fury. He sees that you laugh it off; he doesn't want that. He wants to see you to blow up in his face.

There is a scant possibility that he likes you and doesn't know how to flirt the right way, but that is more indicative of a seventh-grader, not a high school sophomore, so I would rule that one out.

Regardless of his reasons, one thing is evident. This guy has some serious self-esteem issues. The fact that you never paid attention to him angers him. He is dying to get attention by calling you these names. This doesn't make what he's doing right, though.

If you stoop to his level, he will have won the game. Don't give him the satisfaction. "Kill" him with kindness. Just shower him with kind words and compliments. It will confuse the heck out of him, and he will probably leave you alone.

If you're brave, you might go ahead and ask, in front of others, "Whatever did I do to you to make you treat me like I'm a dirty dog?" and put him on the spot. If he comes back with an insult then, maybe someone else or the coach will stand up for you or will give you the courage to stand up for yourself.

Just don't be snobby or roll your eyes at him because it will probably make him treat you worse. Like I said, be so kind to him that it makes him sick.

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A female reader, pinktopaz United States +, writes (30 November 2010):

Sounds like he's trying to get your attention...you obviously ignore him all the time and since he's childish that's how he thinks you'll pay attention to him. I've always been pretty outspoken, so if it were me, I probably would have told him to f-off by now. But I agree that you need to tell your teacher or counselor about what he's been doing. Whether he's trying to get your attention or not, he's bullying you and making you feel bad about yourself and you shouldn't have to put up with it.

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A male reader, Cerberus_Raphael Sweden +, writes (30 November 2010):

Cerberus_Raphael agony auntJust ignore him. I am not sure what he is trying to do exactly but I know that he is doing it for attention. Just carry on enjoying tennis and eventually this guy will go away.

I hope that helps.

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A female reader, Mjfbla United States +, writes (30 November 2010):

Mjfbla agony auntReport him. Thats sexual harrasment to comment on ur sexual preferene whether it b true or not. That may be the only way to stop him. he doesnt do it because he likes you

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