A
female
age
36-40,
*oveMaiden
writes:So I've been working for this retail store and within the "structure" I, naturally, have a supervisor who's pretty helpful and friendly with everyone who works there. Nothing out of the norm. It isn't until last month when I started to REALLY notice him. Specifically, he's attractive features. No sooner, did I started developing a small crush on him. Due to this, I started speaking to him on a more "trying to get to know you" level - beyond the typical employee matters. Of course, he responded. Due to this, he'd acknowledge me whenever we came across and was very 'responsive' towards me (not in the same level when I first started working there). Then there comes a day where I ignored him. This was done by avoiding him when he was walking in my direction (I took a diff. route when I saw him coming my way). Nothing biggie, you might say but it was evident that I was avoiding him. My reason for this was: I was nervous, the typical "crushee" symptom you get when your coming across your crush. I don't know why but it just happened at that moment. Due to that little "incident", I've noticed him ignoring me. He no longer acknowledged me whenever we were in close approximation. It was just evident that he was ignoring me.A day later, I "return" to my normal self and start casually speaking to him as if nothing had happened between us (the ignoring). Again, he returns back to his normal, jovial, spirited self and its as if nothing had happened between us (I ignoring him, he ignoring me). Come Christmas week, it happens again. Again, I purposely ignored him (same reason as before)... and we're back to him ignoring me. Seeing as this has happened before, I decided to let it slide and wait until next day to pick up as if nothing had happened. Nearly a week goes by until I see him again. Now here's where it gets interesting and strange. He started BLATANTLY ignoring me and more than usual! Whenever I saw him or where to come face to face with him, he'd look at a different direction. Basically, he avoided looking and ignoring me throughout the day. Once, I came out of the bathroom and he looks at my direction (I caught him doing so) and he just goes on without saying a word to me. By this time, I wondered if one of my friends (a co-worker) had told him of my little crush on him, which'd explained the way he was acting. Much later in the day, he comes across where I work (he was writing down on some notepad) and I decided to greet him directly. By then, I was getting -for a lack of a better word, depressed (I missed talking to him as before). He looked up and greets me as well - all business-like. Close to closing time, we meet again and he's back to his usual, cheerful self... and we're back as if nothing had happened between us (the blatant avoiding/ignoring me). Just a couple of little things you should know: Whenever we have our chats, he appears to be genuinely interested in what I say and attentive as well. He's six years older than me and my supervisor - and due to him being one, he isn't as -for a lack of a better word- playful when we're around other employees or management - as expected, of course. He will still greet me and ask how I'm doing but other than that, yeah. So my question is: What do you think is happening here?
View related questions:
christmas, co-worker, crush, depressed Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, eek  +, writes (6 January 2012):
 i have dated a manager before you can do it. Just dont let your colleagues know.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2012): Yes, you have to give up on him, otherwise one or both of you will get fired if dating is against your company's rules. And statistically speaking, when only one person in a couple gets fired, it's usually the lower-ranking one (you).
See if dating would be against the rules if you transfer to a different department, or try to get a job in a different company, if you really want to go for it.
...............................
A
female
reader, DoveMaiden +, writes (5 January 2012):
DoveMaiden is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your response!
Now to answer some questions....
Yes, we're both single. And after re-reading through the handbook, it does state that it's prohibited for a supervisor/manager to date a subordinate.
So there nothing much I can do on my side but give up on him...? :(
...............................
A
male
reader, eek +, writes (5 January 2012):
if your both single. And if you like him. Stop sending mixed signals and messing him around! !
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (5 January 2012):
 I think that what is happening is that you are playing some sort of game.... and he, periodically, gets sucked in to it (probably because you are HOT!!!)....and he then figures out that you are playing that game and cools down.... then.... you re-start the game... and his testerone kicks in and he plays the game with you some more....... Ad nauseum.....Why not stop the game?
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (5 January 2012):
 Are you both single?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2012): sounds to me like you're both doing the same things to each other and both ignoring each other and confusing each other.
think about it.. just the same as when he ignores you and it makes you ignore him, the same can be said for him. when you start to ignore him, he doesn't want to be vulnerable, and it shuts him down and makes him ignore you.. til you show interest. it makes perfect sense. you're both confusing each other and causing the other to act the way you're acting.
my suggestion... stop ignoring each other in the first place. if you like someone, why avoid them? very odd.
...............................
A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (5 January 2012):
 You need to ask him why he's been ignoring you, we are not mind readers!!
...............................
A
female
reader, Usagi  +, writes (5 January 2012):
 first of all what is your work's policy about people who work there dating each other? is it ok or could it get him fired?
second of all i think you are confusing him. i mean you show your interest in him and suddently you ignore him and probably he respects it and acts as you do and then you talk to him again etc.
probably even if he likes you back he won't make a move bacause he cannot be sure you like him and he doesn't really know how you are going to respond... and on top of that he is your supervisor, so if he made the "mistake" of thinking you are interested in him and made a move you could easily get him in deep trouble.
if you really like the guy i think you should make a clearer move and see how it goes. up until now you are giving him mixed signals.
good luck
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2012): You're giving him mixed signals, and he's confused. If you have a crush on him decide if you're going to do something about it or not.
...............................
|
