Will my boyfriend ever grow up?

A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have been dating this guy for a year now. A little back story, we met at work. He was engaged and I was married and pregnant with my second child and there was no interest at the time. Long story short, his fiance cheated on him and my ex husband decided to become an alcoholic and we divorced. We started talking and he eventually asked me out. He was okay with the fact that I had kids and was excited at the idea of being in their lives. He had spent the last year "recovering from his big breakup with his ex" as he likes to call it. Basically, he got drunk every night slept with whatever girl would take him and partied all the time (to the tune of about $10,000 that year. He makes around $18k a year). However, he said he's ready to get into a serious relationship with someone again. Fine. One of my old friends had shown some interest in him before we were talking and I asked him if they had done anything together (because that would have been a deal breaker for me) and he said no. Well, a few months later he decides to come clean and say yes, he had slept with her and he had lied to me about it but it shouldn't matter because it all happened before we had even started talking. I had already introduced him to my kids at that point and was stating to have feelings for him by then so I didn't say anything even though I still to this day feel betrayed by the way he lied to me. He's also lied to me when he's over his friends house partying and went to a friend's going away party and the next day there are pictures of him and this other girl that he's hooked up with drinking out of the same drink and he has his arm around her while they're doing karaoke... he says nothing happened and I'm blowing it out of proportion. He recently lost his job and money has been tight because he wouldn't get paid from his new one for a few weeks (we had gotten jointed bank accounts because he recognized that he's just wasteful with money). He had just enough gas in his car to get him to work and back for the week and he decided he would go to his friend's house instead and then drive his friend up to the store. Annnd of course he didn't have enough gas for work. I was pissed and his response was "Well what was I supposed to do? Sit at home and do nothing? That's boring." We are planning a pretty big move across country but the fact that he's being so selfish and immature is really making me reconsider moving with him. I guess my question is, do you think he'll EVER grow up? He's in his mid 20's and never even moved out of his parents house before and has never had any real responsibilities. Should I just cut my losses and go on with the move by myself?

View related questions: alcoholic, at work, divorce, drunk, engaged, fiance, his ex, immature, lost his job, money, moved out, my ex

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (5 January 2012):

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2012):

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2012):

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A female reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 January 2012):

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