A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys, i just want to let a few things out about how i feel and basically whay my girl is making me feel like (if u get me).. Just to let you know it is a long story, so if you dont want to read i understand.Ok, i met this girl literally last year in work, and when i saw he i new She was the one. It took a while for me to start to talk to her but i eventually got there, working on the same department and all...Ok from day 1 i started to like her, i just didnt want to go away from her while i was working i just wanted to be near her and talking to her. I later found out she had a boyfriend via. my work friend.. i was gutted, i felt like my chances with here were ruined. But we kept talking and small occasional flirting.And about the 15th december, my best friend (also works with us) let it slip that she likes me (fancys me), im over the moon but i also relise that she has a boyfriend, but i heard she literally fed up with him (booring, only wants to stay in etc).. Anyway... Its my Staff party and im mega drunk, I mean... Wow deer god drunk.. and i was trying to pluck up the courage to ask her some questions (if you know what i mean) and i didnt.. SO now, its December 25th (christmas night) my are partying down stairs, her parents are out of town shes having a party at her house. But my friends are all out of town too so im stuck at home getting drunk in my room on my pc on msn... lol yeah its sad, but i was lonly.. And she was on , we started messaging and it came to about 2-3am and she said come round mine and party (at this point we both new we liked each other) but didnt ley one an other know (secret) and it came to party end and we all went sleep but she said, instead of sleeping on the floor, get in my double bed - i did knowing full well she had a boyfriend (i was fully clothed all night).The next day, well dec 26 we were talking, and childishly texting (whist sat next to each other) and she randomly said, i wish you kissed me last night. im like SHOCKED and in joy, but i said i wanted to but no becasue you have a Boy friend. So anyway, we get drunk same night, after christmas party, and same scenario she says get in bed (im clothed), i turn my head and basically were looking into each'others eyes for 2 hours and i finally say F*c* it and i kissed her. (she had split with her b/f by then and not told me :E)... soo 2 months down the line she tells me she loves me and i do the same..OK NOW my heart hurts from here.About 1 month ago she went on holiday with her friend and mother for 1 week, and her friends cousin went as well (i didnt go) and he took 2 of his friends. Now i recently met one of the cousins friends before they went and he seemed a little fishy. so i called the odd 2 nights and asked hows it going, and all she would do is say how much fun shes having and always mention this "friend" at the end..Now she got back and she thought i was being off with her (i was a little) and we had a talk, and i new what she wanted to say/feeling but she didnt say it. so i basically got it out. I told her, you had fun and now your going to miss it b'cos your back with me... the answer wasnt a yes but an uncertain NO.(((((((Sorry about the lengh)))))))ok, now it basically all started as well, she wanted to spend less time with me and more time with her "friends" . so i said ok if it will make things right, and all shes been doing is going around (apparently) to this 1 guys house, with another guy..Whats made me suspicious was her farther split with his gf and my girl was upset, so is secretly sent a text off her phone to her dad arranging a meet up (i had no credit hehe) and she raid her phone and said "if you want to send a SECRET text you have to delete it"... Now all shes been doing since she got back from holiday and been going out with her "friends" is texting, and she also always delets her outbox and mostly inbox - only keeps mine, shes relised i look at her phone and now has recently changed her lock on the phone to a number i dont know... I think she slipped up by saying about secret texts, and all she does is text this 1 guy when were together, she blaims it on him always texting back, but i said why dont you JUST not REPLY??plz give me your opinion i would be so greatfull.. I feel so paranoid and it feels like my world is crashing down on me...I thank all of you for reading this, i just really had to let it all out.. Thank you.. Rob xox
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best friend, christmas, cousin, drunk, flirt, has a boyfriend, msn, on holiday, she has a boyfriend, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2008): Hey people, thank you for your answers. Im afraid you were all correct. im now in so much pain its unbarable.I turned up tonight, and she was in tears on the couch, and she just grabbed me and held me. I kinda new what was coming becasue of you guys..So she said, "remember the other week, you went home at nite? - "blar" just turned up, and i started to talk about my problems, and he just kissed me. (him taking advantage of her - she is very vunerable person. Im fuming by now - cant cry my heart out becasue im consumed in rage and adrenaline i wanted to kill him.so she says, you were never there. I felt like i couldnt talk to you.. "i said, i asked you every night for the past 3 months are you ok? - she goes yes, but if u keep asking i wont" - (whats going on here?) further on, she goes well what do you want me to do, he told me that he loves me! - im just hoping what i do to him doesnt send me to prison at this point."i felt sorry for him" - She kissed him on 3 occasions (but denies sleeping with him) - 1: i went home. 2: party, and 3: when i droped her off, and she went out with him somewhere..I was like, YEAH IF YOU felt sorry for him, why the F£"K did you do it 3x?Anyway, i walked out and said if i drive off bye i guess, i drove off after sitting in my car for 30mins. and looked at a picture of my phone of her... I couldnt do it, i went back, and told her i love her, im always here and will be here for ever... I will try to make this right, i forgive you but not him.. He took advantage of you when you were extremly vunerable. "i also said, it will be hard for me, you have to understand"...........Sorry if you people shud think i shud leave, but i cant.. I love her too much, she needs somebody right now and i need to be there...Thank you all for listening to me. I just hope my hear recovers from this.Good bye.
A
female
reader, littlesuziepie  +, writes (19 September 2008):
 Aw how sad. You need to not be so sad ok. Its going to be ok. Your both very young and its more than likly not going to be a good outcome. But hey there are so many girls out there and you will find another one and probably another one and another one after that.
Be free. You seem to be a very committed person. One who chooses one person and settles to love that person for ever.
She on the other hand seems to fly by the seat of her pants. Example...she was with someone before you. Had you in her bed while she was with him and so on...she seems to be the type that doesn't like to break off her current relationships for the new ones she starts.
I'm sorry darling but it just seems that way to me.
Don't be sad though.you will find someone again.
You seem like a really great person. Trustworthy and kind. You should find someone more like yourself.
XOXo
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2008): honestly you cant be happy in that relationship until your happy with yourself and it sounds like you dont trust her.
you need to ask her why she changed her code and if she has feelings for this guy. even if it doesnt turn out good if its gonna turn out bad the sooner the better because if you wait it out you will only hurt more and longer,
update if you talk to her id like to know how things go
and i really hope things work out for you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2008): From a girls perspective, it sounds like she's not ready to be with someone in a serious relationship. I don't mean to hurt you but I was there too when I was younger. Just like she was flirting with you when she was with someone else, she's flirting with other people now that she's with you. Shes prolly just not ready to be tied down to one guy. See the thing with girls who aren't ready to be serious is that they enjoy having a boyfriend, bc of the security you bring (hence...you'll always be there) but shes not necessarily interested in settling down. She wants to have fun, its part of being young. I'm not justifying what she's doing to you. And if she's changed her code and erases her texts... She's doing something she don't want u to see. Bottom line, you two are not on the same page. You should tell her how you feel and if she continues to deny any wrongdoing and does not change, chances are you'll be broken up with. And she may really like you so she's stringin you along while she messes in other territory... Hence having her cake and eating it too. So there's 3 things that can happpen: she likes you enough to change for the relationship, she breaks up with you, or she plays you until she decides to grow up. You take control.
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A
male
reader, FETSEA  +, writes (19 September 2008):
YOU ARE AGED 18-21. Her's we do not know. What did you want/expect from her, and what did she want//expect from you? Maybe, to her it was just compnionship, and to you, it was expecting luna landing. The drinking coupled with close companionship on 25th and 26th, may have been pleasurable to you, as arrived. Not,for her. Her new friends may be suiting her temperaments and social outings, and therefore more time for them. She is not sulking about the boyfriend she has left,and I suppose,she woul not sulk leaving you. Get on with life, meet more, people, socialise, say hello to her as and when possible.Your story is not lengthy, but your mind is cluttered.WAKE UP! GET OUT! LIVE A LIFE.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2008): I know it's hard for you but you need to move on. It seems like you took her from her man thinking that she would be faithful to you. Have you ever heard the word KARMA now your in the boyfriend spot and you don't like what she is doing. But she probably was doing this before you her got toghether, so I say move on because its obivious that she does want you. Personally I donk like people going through my phone boyfriend or not, but your girl seems like she is hiding something.
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