A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:About 2 years ago I met a woman on an online dating site. She had just finished a 3 year relationship. This guy was verbally abusive and always wanted a 3some. She was very much against that. They subsequently got engaged and then he left her out of the blue. She told me after we talked online that she was getting her masters and wasn't on the dating site to find someone. It was a class project on how men pick women based on age. So we talked frequently but she would never talk on the phone or meet me. She said she was still hurting and had trust issues. As time went on her messages gota little less but she still emailed me and I did to. I moved on and about 1 year ago I met someone. She recently emailed and asked if I was coming to town where she lived. She wanted to meet. She said she figured I met someone since we didn't talk as much. She then told me that she was seeing someone too!? I told her my relationship ended a couple weeks ago. Why did she ask me if I was coming to her area if she was still seeing someone? She had always said she thought about me all the time however. At this time she asked about meeting as my relationship had ended.she said she wasn't in love with this guy but liked him. She and I decided to meet but she was real worried someone would see us out and they knew she had a boyfriend. So when we were suppose to meet she didn't show up. She hasn't called or anything. She was so excited to know that I was alone but upset she was seeing someone and did'nt want to hurt him? Look! she and I have talked for 2 years even when I was dating! She has told me how she feels about me but is conflicted. What is your analysis? I told her I wouldn't bother her and I would give her time to sort things out. What should I do? She and I are as close as.u can b without seeing each other besides pictures. I know .so much about her. I just need some advice! Please help
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female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (19 September 2008):
 Could be something as simple as she used pictures that weren't her. Did you see her on web cam atleast?
Something is stopping her meeting you, and whatever it is, it sounds a messy start.
C xxxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2008): Yikes! What a totally dishonest way to behave, on her part. This is a situation where the other person isn't really that bothered. Or she's not who she says she is. What we do know, is she's certainly not willing to make the effort, to meet you. Basically, I think she has her own issues and you'd be better to not get involved. The wisest strategy for dealing with people online who confuse you is to do as suggested below....end contact completely. There are no big rules or established protocol for dealing with an online situation like this. Because all you are dealing with is a computer screen and not a real person. Online, you can meet all kinds of people, from the best to the worst. You need to always, always evaluate each online contact as you do, any real-life people in your life. You evaluate them on their own merits. And if they don't measure up...you move on. Simple as that.
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A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (19 September 2008):
 something about the story doesn't sound right. Why did't she show up? or maybe she did, but you didn't see her. Maybe She wanted to see what you looked like first so she hid somewhere while you waited for her. Whatever the case, I would try to forget her. She could be a Man for all you know.Have you talked to her on the phone? Something does not add up.I think you should give her an ultimatum. Either you meet face to face or you will end all contact. By waiting around for her, she will continue to lead you on and drive you crazy
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