A
female
age
30-35,
*lwayznd4eva116
writes:im stuck in one of the worst situations ever. i think im in love with this man who doesnt care at all about me. all he wants is sex and because i care about him, i neva minded. but now im so hurt, to a point where i cant do anything but cry. i want to move on, and find somebody who treats me like i deserve, any suggestions on how to let go of this man? why is it always so hard for people to let go of the ones who arent treating them right??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (21 November 2009):
 There's nothing wrong with being alone.
Being single doesn't mean you are undesirable.
This is a time to refect and get to know yourself
again. Learn from your last relationship so you
don't repeat the same mistake.
It is hard at the beginning but then you become
stronger and don't put up with crap from anybody.
A
female
reader, Accountable  +, writes (10 November 2009):
 Well done for doing the smart thing and getting rid of this guy, you'll thank yourself for it in the future!! :) Things will get easier, just surround yourself with your friends and family, the people who love you x
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A
female
reader, alwayznd4eva116 +, writes (10 November 2009):
alwayznd4eva116 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks so much guys. i think ya are right. ever since talking to this guy, hes constantly put me down. always made lil smart comments, that at tha time, i laffed at to hide the pain. but then it started to get to, "your dumb because you dnt like to read" and "your just a regular teenage smut" and he just always told me what to do. i always listened because i didnt want to lose him. and i did start to believe i was dumb and im a smut. i know im not all of that, but if its not true, why am i still alone? idk, i actually really miss this guy. but i havent spoken to him in 3 weeks, so as much as im hurting, i guess im making progress
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A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (20 October 2009):
i agree with Caring Guy cause I've been there and done that.
I put up with so much crap from my ex, and only when I got out did I realize my self esteem was down in the gutter.
Love yourself enough to know that you deserve so much better. To be treated right and love the right.
It's hard to let go, esp if emotions and feelings get involved. We talk ourself out of things, but at the end of the day, you deserve someone who loves you and who will treat you right.
I believe it all stems from childhood. I was verbally abuse, and subconciously seeked a partner that was that to me, because it was what I was used to.
After a while the pain is too much to bear, and only I can walk away and end things. Work on yourself, love yourself, and one day you will not believe that you put up with so much crap from a man. Ask yourself.
Do you really want to degrade yourself and be with a man that does not care for you? I think not. You are so much more than that. Best of luck
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A
female
reader, Accountable +, writes (20 October 2009):
There is a psychological explanation for why women struggle to leave abusive relationships - its called learned helplessness, and the idea is that even though you know the relationship is bad for you, it becomes all that you're used to so leaving it seems scary. It also stems from the partner beating down the persons self-esteem to the point where they believe there is no way they have the power to leave the relationship.
It sounds like this guy has seriously worn away at your self-esteem - you do need to leave him, and fast. I'm sure you will have the support of your friends and family :) good luck! xx
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (20 October 2009):
I think you're suffering with poor self esteem. Look at your life. Is there something that has happened before this that made you look at this guy in the first place. The chances are, you are searching for affection and you feel that when you're having sex with him, you're getting affection. The best way to end this is to face yourself and find out why you feel this way. Talk it through with someone if you have to. Have you been hurt before? As for this guy, stop contact, delete his phone number, don't take his calls. Then, spend time just focusing on yourself. Good luck.
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