A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 17 years old, and I really want to be in a relationship right now. My only problem is that I sort of have anxiety issues when I'm forced to interact with other people in public situations, so I often find it hard to make friends and meet new people easily. A lot of the time, I've turned to the internet to meet new and interesting people. My family thinks that I should be more social, and I struggle, because I want to be able to make friends with people. But I also think that my personality might be too unique, and my personal style might be too strange for others, which is why I keep myself reserved so often. I also sometimes have a hard time coping with self-acceptance, and my self-confidence is usually quite low. And I don't want my partner to look down on me or judge me because of my appearance. I want to be in a long-term relationship- in the past there were only a couple of guys I dated, and they were short-term, and I hated that. I'm thinking that I'm possibly ready for sex, but I worry at times what my first time will be like, and what my partner will think of me afterward. I also recently had to get over my best friend, whom I felt that I was in love with, and I told him, but all-in-all I think I ruined our friendship because he had no response. It was difficult enough having to tell him that, but he was also one of the few friends that I have. I thought he might have been the one for me, but I'm letting go of it now.I'm trying to move forward, and I really want to meet someone new. Could someone give me some tips or good advice to help me with my problems?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2009): That sounds like something I could do. Could someone possibly give me some advice on how to be more friendly or how to just get people's attention to attract more friends? Usually I can't hold a conversation for very long, or the other person becomes disinterested after awhile. I would also like to know how I could become more approachable, and possibly if someone could help me on approaching new people in a positive way, that would definitely help me. :D
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (20 October 2009):
First of all, forget about having a boyfriend right now. You feel low about yourself, which is a magnet for all those guys who want to control you. Instead, really focus on yourself and who you are. You don't need to change. Instead, look for things you can do with other people. Look for hobbies you can start where you can just be with other people, and maybe go out with a few friends and just get used to be out with other people. Also, you need to confront your anxiety. Think about why you feel this way. You've been hurt, so maybe to talk to someone about it. A good guy is ultimately attracted to a woman who is comfortabale and happy with herself. So really take your time just getting to know yourself and finding out what you like. when your confidence is higher, and you are happier, you wil be ready to try and find a boyfriend. But I don't think you're ready just yet. That last thing you want is to attract a guy who will use you or hurt you. Good luck.
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