A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Well I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 1/2 half years. Everything is going pretty well. We don't fight much, we still laugh and have fun, and we have sex regularily (and yes we are both very happy with it!). What I don't understand is that he still masturbates and watches porn! I was using his computer the other day and saw that there were some recently viewed videos in a folder that was still on the screen....I don't think he intended for me to see them. We had only had GREAT sex the day before! Sometimes, when we have sex, I don't mind putting on porn to get us in the mood...so its not off limits to me...I just don't know why he does it when I'm not around...It makes me feel like he isn't satisfyed with me...Does anyone have a boyfriend or husband who does this? Am I overeating? What should I do? I can't help but be upset with him!Why is he still watching porn?!
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male
reader, mulattoman +, writes (13 August 2009):
 Here's another suggestion: Make your own home porn and do the things both of you like to do. Then he can masturbate to YOU and not a slut.
A
male
reader, mulattoman +, writes (13 August 2009):
Most common reasons...
1. You don't meet his needs and he's too afraid of you rejecting his sexual ideas.
2. It's his way of cheating without actually cheating.
3. You're not as attractive as he wishes you were.
4. It's an addiction he developed before you two met and he can't get rid of it.
I suggest doing kinky things... things they do in porn. Something that will drive him crazy and say "OMG I can't believe she let me do this" or "I can't believe she just did that for me." If he got everything he truly desired, he wouldn't be watching it... would you agree?
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A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (13 August 2009):
 Ok. You need to stop relating him watching porn to what you do. If you continue to compare the two, then you'll never be happy. There are two good things to think about when it comes to your situation in particular. The first is that you both really enjoy your sex life! You two are both satisfied and you are both really open when it comes to it (for example, the fact that you two both use porn to spice things up a bit). It's awesome that you don't really have an issue with the porn itself, which will make things a lot easier to cope with in the long run. The second good thing is that he is coming to YOU for sexual attention. There are a lot of cases where guys just use porn and masturbation and ignore their girlfriends/wives as far as the bedroom is concerned. That's when pornography becomes unhealthy and disruptive to a relationship.
What your boyfriend does however is completely normal. My boyfriend does it and even I do. Just because he isn't around doesn't mean that my sex interest just comes to a halt. I still get the 'urge' every once in a while. Guys watch dirty movies and look at dirty pictures because they are visual. It's just like a woman reading a romance novel. They both appeal to what naturally gets each gender excited. He isn't in any way comparing you two's personal sex life to what he sees on the computer, it's just something really cheap to get him off really quick. Guys also masturbate for quite a few reasons. It relieves stress and insomnia, it also is just something out of habit! So no matter what, even if he was having sex with the hottest and most experienced girl ever, he'd still be looking at porn for that quick solo fix.
So please don't worry! Keep having fun and keep enjoying each other's company. The fact that he watches porn does not change the love and fun you two have together. :)
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A
female
reader, Miss Treat  +, writes (13 August 2009):
Hi Hun...there is absolutely no problem with him watching porn and having a wank to himself...it's totally normal.
He is obviously a healthy young man with a great sex drive, you're having great sex, you said it yourself...but a wank to a guy is like you scratching your nose...it's just something you do when you get the itch!
Do not worry about it and whatever you do , Do Not give your guy a complex about it! If you do he'll just feel awkward around you and once that wedge gets inbetween you....Listen babe...do you know what I'd do....I'd join him...if you catch him doing it...tell him you can do it for him! Do you not masturbate??? Have you not used your vibrator since you met him???
Sometimes, even us women just want a quick no-frills orgasm! And Porn always helps!
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A
male
reader, urbanking99 +, writes (13 August 2009):
From a personal point of view, he enjoys getting off and if you're not around, at least he's getting off by himself and not with anyone else. He's definitely thinking of you whilst he's doing it.
Maybe he's looking for new ways to indulge you and make you tingle all over.
Don't be upset with him it is the nature of man to want to spread it about. We after all are only members of the animal kingdom and are only doing what comes naturally to us.
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A
male
reader, MikeTorrez +, writes (13 August 2009):
It could be he has a higher sex drive than you. Guys are wired differently than girls. If he has a high sex drive, like I do, sexual gratification once a day isn't enough. There is nothing wrong with masturbating and watching porn if it isn't interfering in your relationship or preventing you from carrying out your lives. Would you rather he find someone else to help him out? What if you're not home and he's horny? Would you rather he go out and find someone to sleep with or relieve himself by watching porn in 10 minutes?
Seriously it's not a big deal unless you make it one. Every guy I know who has a girlfriend or wife still masturbates and watches porn.
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