A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am in a ldr(long distance relation)for about 5 years. My bf is angry with me for getting him in trouble at work by being I admit annoying and over texting him. I realize I was annoying, and didn't consider his job but I believe I just miss him and I get just so excited to talk to him, but this can easily be fixed, by me just making more hobbies and going out with my friends a lot more. I did apologize and told him this can be worked on but he just ignores me. The last thing he said was a week and half ago and that was when i told him, you are more than welcome to leave me ive never forced you to stay with me and Id rather you be honest and not coward out, or if you would like to work this out like I would we can talk about this. I said we can both work on being better as a couple. He said Then stop messaging me at work it gets me in trouble. And so I said and are you going to directly answer my question? he said What Im saying is stop messaging me. My boyfriend is a great guy and I do want to work it out, he has been going through a hard time with his mothers cancer and having to help pay for that. He also works two jobs. Id rather not argue and be the supportive gf I am, but at this time he obviously isn't allowing that by ignoring me. I am not sure how long he plans to ignore me, or if he is wanting this or not. I choose to not be disrespected so I do not talk to him either, I feel at this stage he wants me he knows where i am. I go to his town in a month, the ticket was bought before this incident an nonrefundable even. I have removed the offending problem of messaging. Does it seem he wants to work this out or let this go? What is the intentions to ignore me for so long? just angry, cowardly, to see if ill improve what? Thanks for any ideas advice or suggestions here!PS he is 30, and I am 29
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male
reader, Odds +, writes (5 July 2010):
 Stop texting, for one thing. Call him at night and talk then.
You can figure out what he actually means much better if you can hear his voice, and if he is not trying to text really fast while his boss is not looking.
A
female
reader, alien invasion +, writes (5 July 2010):
 Figure out the problem, talk about the problem, then figure out a way you can fix the problem. Communication is key in a relationship if I've ever learned a lesson.
Also - It sounds like he's being a big douche bag, kinda. Ignoring someone is not a way to solve anything.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (5 July 2010):
 He is ignoring you because you were over mesaging him and you annoyed him. He is working 2 jobs and has a sick mother. Your a Long distance girlfriend nd 'out of sight, out of mind'.
If I were you, I'd back right off, stop trying to second guess his actions and give him space to make his mind up as to what he wants to do. By keep prodding him, your just going to make him more upset. If you have a ticket to go see him in a month, then go...but don't bug the hell out of him for answers that he isn't ready to give you.
If in the mean time, you decide for sure that you arnt happy and want to end the relationship...then end it. Making empty threats and giving ultimatums never work in situations like this...you can't change how another person is or thinks by bugging them.
Get on with your life...give him room...Im sure then he will come back and give you his answer.
Good luck xxx
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (5 July 2010):
Just dump him already. If he can't deal with this in a sensible way i.e. getting on the phone and talking to you, then he's not worth your time. Things don't 'just work out'. And his excuse might be valid, but what's he done other than moan and ignore? Nothing. Pathetic really. Stop wasting time with a little boy, and find a man. In ten years time, he will still be the same.
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