A
female
age
30-35,
*elp1992
writes:Hi, last week i found out that i am pregnant im 17 and my boyfriend of 16 months is 18. I told him that i didnt want to get an abortion, and at first he said he would be there for me no matter what and said he would move in with me and my parents, a few hours after that he changed his mind admitting all the stuff he had said was just him lying and that he would leave me and have nothing to do with the baby but again i told him i didnt want to have an abortion hoping he would come to his senses all he had to say was he wasnt ready for a baby and that it would ruin his life, saying by keeping it i was ruining his life.I may be young but i know a lot of teenagers that have had a baby younger then me and they have made it work i know it will be hard but why should i quit on something for my own selfish reasons like he is? I dont know what to do ?
View related questions:
abortion Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rivi  +, writes (31 July 2010):
A lot depends on how far gone you are I would say - if it's too late for a pill abortion then it does become more difficult morally. So how far down the line are you ?
But without a dad the child if you have it would probably be better off being adopted. And no he does not have to consent - but why would he not consent anyway ? Is he gonna feed it and change its diapers ?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2010): if you both knew that the condom split or you weren't on adequate protection and knew that you could be pregnant it was selfish of you both (on behalf of the impending child) not to take the day after pill! I mean come on!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2010): Would it be too much to expect people to talk about this topic with their partner before they start having sex?
...............................
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (31 July 2010):
 caringguy is right on the money! Your child is the ONLY Thing that's important in your life now.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (31 July 2010):
I doubt most women think they'll be in this position to be fair. Your boyfriend clearly can't handle what is happening at all. But, at the end of it, this is your choice to make. There is no use in him saying you're ruining his life. He made his own decision to have sex with you, so he's just as responsible. It's no use in him blaming you for this.
You want to have this baby. That's the truth. He won't be there, so your decision is whether you can be a single mother or not. I think if you have enough support, and I think if you're willing to work hard as a mother, you'll be fine. You don't want this abortion, and I don't think you really want to adopt. Have the baby, and work very hard as a single mother. And make sure you get support from this guy, even if it's just money wise.
...............................
A
female
reader, cindy 15 +, writes (31 July 2010):
 i wouldnt know what to do either if i was in your case well in my opinion he is selfish and he isnt your boyfriend seems to be nice and all but maybe he isnt ready to be a father yet but u are ready to be a mother and yes he has to take responsibility but he doesnt want to you seem like a nice girl but if you dont want a abortion dont take one its your own body and your own choice and maybe if u keep this baby what help will your boyfriend be if he doesnt want to be a part of your babys life and is gonna leave you what good will he be in the future dont worry about him and worry about the baby and think of the responcibility u have to take care of a baby but the choice is yours but you do what you think is right
good luck and i hope everything works out for you!
...............................
A
female
reader, help1992 +, writes (31 July 2010):
help1992 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI already spoke to him about adoption and he said no, again i know its my choice what to do but i would still need him to sign papers wouldnt i?
i want to have this baby, to me abortion would be like murdering my future son or daughter.
I want the baby to have a mum and dad and thats something thats not going to happen...
when i found out i was pregnant i was upset but abit of me was happy and i dont know why.
i have always loved children as i have a 5 year old niece and a 10 month old nephew and they mean so much to me, i couldnt imagine stopping them from being born.
i never thought i would be in this position..
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2010): i got pregnant at 17 and it is a really hard choice dont base your choice what he wants or what you want...think of what the baby needs...what kind of life will she or he have? not only the baby but you....it is very hard road ahead i wish you the best of luck it can be done! but its time to be an adult and think about the reality of the situation...most young couple do not stay together and a baby wont ruin your life its a blessing but it will be a very hard road...think about this... say you were out of college had a good job and a loving husband who also had a decent career and at this point in your life you got pregnant at this time you would be more ready financially, and emotionally....you would be ablee to provide more have a life of your own! but at the same time if you choose this path make sure you are ready it will be very hard! but also very wonderful! just make sure you do whats right this willbe one ofthe hardest thingsyou will ever have to decide
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2010): You're right; he's being extremely selfish.
Here's the deal:
He helped make that baby. It is partially his responsibility. Whether he leaves you or not, he is obligated to help care for it, whether that means to help raise it or give you money to use to raise it.
Your body is your body, and that is not his to control. It's your final decision on what to do with the baby growing inside of you. If you are uncomfortable with an abortion, by all means, do not get one. There are other options available, like adoption.
If your boyfriend wants you to have an abortion or else he'll leave, let him, because the next time things get tough for him, he's going to threaten the exact same thing.
Best of luck to you! Let us know what you decide.
...............................
|
