A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:This guy and I were FWB for nearly a year. Gradually it got to where he couldn't do the deed. I couldn't understand his problem as he wouldn't talk about it, so I backed off. His personality and mood became dark. I didn't want to be around him. Recently he got into on-line dating. Now he's done an about-face personality-wise. At the same time he says he leads a very lonely life. Now he wants me around all the time and calls me ten times a day. Whenever I do visit he goes into his room and gets on the internet. When I say I have to leave, he doesn't want me to go.I am not interested in returning to the former status of our relationship for 2 reasons. 1 is that I think I saw his true colors during the time he was so dark. and 2 is that I don't agree with his using nasty sites nor the way he leads women on. He still has bad manners. What gives? Why is he being so (kinda) nice to me and so clingy?PS: He texted me that he loves me. He never said or wrote that before.
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (17 January 2010):
 Lord knows what goes on in mens heads at the best of times and trying to work the real dodgy ones out is almost impossible. The way I see it, he is using you in the worst way. He obviously likes you but is maybe unsure how you feel about him. He sounds as if he has major issues with trust and it sounds as if he is testing you!!
When people are insecure (like him) they almost play with someone who is or has been close to them. They push the boundaries to see if the other person will come bouncing back...if you do then he is vindicated, your back in 'his arena' and he can continue to have you on a string. If you don't go bouncing back, then the love texts and the 'im so lonely...feel sorry for me' starts...it's pure manipulation.
You say he could not continue 'the deed' with you...I am assuming you mean having sex. This is a huge problem for men and they find it extremely difficult to talk about. He knows this is a deal breaker for your FWB relationship, so what other ways can he continue to have you come around??...by being ambiguous and confusing...that is how.
You may have some feelings for him and might be secretly hoping that he's suddenly going to change into the man you have always dreamed of being with...Let me tell you sister...if he isn't that now...he never will be.
He is manipulating you so he has someone around...it's as simple as that.
Those dark moods of his will always cast a shadow, so darn well let him stew in his own juice. Say goodbye, change your number and kick him out of your life. He is stopping you from having a happy life and maybe meeting the REAL man of your dreams.
with love
Aunty Em xxxxx
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 January 2010):
He's keeping you around for company, like a cat with a ball of string. And now that he's into on-line dating, we can safely say that he doesn't love you. I think you would be fat better moving on form this man and cutting him out.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (17 January 2010):
 Why are you accepting his invitations if he has a habit of going into his room when you turn up?
Why are you having anything to do with him at all if you saw his true colours and you don't agree with the things he does?
I don't understand.
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